How to know in an instant if you're being uptight. Posted by John on February 17, 1999 at 16:44:31:
(2 pages)
Before we move along into studying the mindful exploration of emotional
feelings, and--for those of you who have time and interest for it--
discussing the personality and essence wheel that is starting up now in
the Playground, as well, there is one important "move" of the awareness
game that I would like to show you all here first.
This is, how to know in an instant if you are being uptight. Of all the
little moves in this game, this--in my view--is one of the handiest, and
one of the best.
Remember that we've got that ol' phenomenological scoreboard, that you
have to *get a feeling for* and sniff out in the space that you are
being in. Any time that you get a hunch that there's some tension in
the air, some hint of tension in the scene, either in you or in the
other person, that is *the emergence of score* on our scoreboard here.
Take note of the *intensity of the tension* that seems to be registering
there. You *know* then that some degree of conflict is going on.
*The next thing to find out* is whether *you* are being uptight or not.
And this is an instant way to find that out. Go ahead here and do it,
please.
Put your awareness in your face, and feel your face.
......................................................
If your face is *completely* relaxed, then you are not uptight. Use
your awareness to check around in the flesh of your face in there very
thoroughly.
......................................................
If your face shows areas of tensions, when you check in with it this
way, then you are being uptight.
When you feel that there are tensions in your face, you can *just let
your face down*. Just let it "float" there. If it seems to pull back
up into those tensions again, you can just *feel the tensions that are
there*, very vividly. Soak up the direct experience of the sensations
of the tensions that are there for fifteen seconds or longer. Soak it
up, soak it up, soak it up. And then *just let your face down* again.
Let it float.
In this way, at any given moment of the day, whatever it is that is
going on, you can find out in an instant if you are being uptight about
it in any way, or not. And, if you elect to, you can work through
experiencing these tensions very vividly for a little while.
"acknowledging" them, and then just . . . . . let them go, "process them
on through." Let them "float away."
In this way, you are mindfully processing tensions on through, awarely *
allowing them to be* purged from your body, "*escorting* these
tensions," if you will, from your body with your focused awareness.
This could be a good one to do during work-breaks like some of you have
mentioned recently, and also for detaching a little from the tensions
that are generated unnecessarily by getting unconsciously attached to
your computers when you are working at them.
I *really like it* the way you students are "setting up mindfulness
practices" in your daily lives. It sounds like you are all catching on
to the way to do this, and it's gonna pay off! :-)
Those of you who try out being mindful while watching television can
also find it's do-able to be quite mindful off and on during periods of
working at a computer. And you can "make the most" of these mindful
moments! You just have to "get it" that the computer screen is over *
here*, that there is "that soft space" right there, between it and you,
and that *you* are in there behind those eyes inside that body over
there in your chair. Doing this now and then while you're working at a
computer certainly isn't going to hurt the quality of your work. :-)
And you're gettin' paid for it! {heh-heh}
Once you have gotten the hang of this move during the passage of your
life, and practiced it a few days, there can also be specific times in
your life of all kinds where you know that you would like to "put your
soft face on," and "face" the event without *any* tensions there. This
gentle, awakened *poise* can be practiced, too. You can learn to do
both these moves whenever you wake up, remember them, and choose--to
find out if you're being uptight, and to put on your soft face on
purpose.
Coach
Archived 22 Mar 99