First Gold Stars!...on the trail of Suz's "Dictator." Posted by John on November 05, 1999 at 13:35:01:
In Reply to: Re: About coming around a full-cycle together in the last semester. posted by Suz on November 05, 1999 at 08:36:55:
Way to go, Suz! I knew I could count on you to be brave enough to
"stand up and do it!" Even though the path may seem dangerous, you have
got the warrior's courage to step forth and take it in your hands, and
make it into something tangible. Great job here, and I just have to
give you some Gold Stars here for your effort, and for several good
answers that you've given so far . . . but (heh-heh), you still haven't
quite gotten all the way through to the heart of what I'm pointing to
here. No blame! I immensely respect you for giving it your best shot!
>Well I dont know if I'll answer correctly right off the bat as we all have that difference of interpretatin thing
You're off to a great start here!!! "I don't know." Knowing that you
don't know is "the warrior's wisdom," Suz. It is "beginner's mind." It
opens you up for the discovery of something new! It provides a path to
undiscovered *insights*!
>now looking back at what I said . . . I see it in several ways!
Did I want attention brought to my deep involvement with music?
Dictator wanting attention?
Yes, this is a correct point to consider. Please remember this. The
behavior patterns of all eight of the types *can be looked at* as
"attention-getting behaviors." Each of the types seeks attention in
it's own different way.
Dictators seek attention by attempting to show that they are worthy of
respect. Con Artists attempt to get attention by showing that they are
intellectually superior to others. Judges seek attention to prove that
they are right and the other person is wrong. Rebels seek attention to
display, blatantly, that they are different than others ("for the beauty
of it," they will say.) That's the more aggressive side of the wheel.
On the more passive side, Doormats seek to deflect attention away from
them by acting very quiet and passive, so they won't be asked to do
anything. Believers seek attention to their insecure plight, in
attempting to be approved of, and taken care of. Martyrs seek attention
by showing that they are needing more love. And Kind Helpers are
attempting to get attention to the things that they are worrying the
most about, so other people will take better care of themselves in those
ways.
So the common behavioral manifestations of each of the eight types can
all be seen as efforts to gain the attention of others—in the distinctly
different ways that each of them regard as *most important* in their
respective lives.
So this is correct, and I give it a gold star, Suz! But it still
doesn't quite get to what I was driving at. "Attention getting" is a
very broad and general term. What were you doing—more specifically—in
common everyday terms, after I said what I did about the music of the
types, and you replied with what you then said?
>Could it also be the plea for sharing with others?hard worker -doormat?
Yes, I think it is this, too. But, as above, the plea for sharing with
others that each one of the types makes has a different characteristic
form, an obviously different structure. So which of the types is this a
plea for sharing of? Is it Hard-worker/Doormat? Possibly, possibly.
When you are wondering if your posted remarks may be "lame," as you put
it, you *are* in touch with a bit of personality music that crosses your
mind at that moment.
But you are *not lame*. You can shoe a horse, one of the hardest
skilled jobs on a farm. You are powerful, and able. Still, the thought
of whether you are "lame" or not crosses your mind. That's *the
opposite of everything you want to be*! That *is* the music of the
Doormat. And the instant you hear it you know you don't want to be
that, and you aren't willing to be that! And you aren't! Or at least I
don't think so, so far. The Doormat is the opposite position on the
wheel from the Dictator. I think that's why it crosses your mind this
way. It is your antithesis.
Some of you who have been in classes in the Playground, may remember
that I have pointed out that if you know any one of the primary types of
a person, if you look across the wheel to the opposite side what you see
is the opposite of that person. Across the wheel what you are looking
at is *what NOT to expect* from a given type. Thus, if you are studying
the Dictator and finding a lot of insights about your make-up that seem
to fit that, if you read the Doormat across the wheel, what you will
find are lots of traits that one is *not to expect* with your given
make-up as Dictator.
Dictators characteristically want respect. Being "lame," or being
"weak," and things like that are what Dictators most don't want to be.
(Of course, we are all weak at certain times. But Dictators can't stand
*appearing to be weak*. Dictators "have to be strong!" They are stoic.
They are tough. And they demand respect for it. They have grown up
that way since childhood.
I'll give you another Gold Star for this one, anyway, because you have
seen that that behavior of yours that we are studying here *was* an
attention getting device, and you have also seen that it is a plea for
sharing. Yet this still doesn't get to the heart of the puzzle I've
described for you here.
>Was it my curiosity as to whether others here are moved by music in the daily format of life ?student-believer?
Another Star for you! Yes, this is probably true, too. If Student/
Believer plays a big role in your life, Suz (and that certainly seems to
be so), you *would have* that kind of curiosity about the others of us!
But it's still not the inner answer that I'm looking for here.
Let's go back and "run the tape" again, first me speaking, and then you:
>I can look at the nature of what I'm doing in relating with any other person and catch on fairly quickly to which one of the types I'm doing now, if any. I pick up on the music of the types, like one recognizes the differences between grand opera, country and western, jazz, and rock n' roll.
>I am glad you mentioned something about music in a couple of recent postings as this stands out in high relief for me! I have wanted to mention it before [and then, Suz, you go on to speak about "music in general"].
What are you *doing* here? What's the simple, common way we have of
putting what you are doing here?
Anybody??? Has anybody else in class caught on to what I'm pointing out
here? What is Suz *doing* here?
.....................................................
Suz goes on:
>I guess it could be many things but I know I don't feel (stupid) singing to my trees!
So here you've "given up" on the question, but instead you assert the
point that *does matter* the most to you. You don't feel stupid singing
to your trees. That's clear enough to me. Dictators don't tolerate
having other people think they are stupid, whatever it is that they are
doing. Dictators demand respect. And that's fine! I get it! You
aren't stupid. And, in fact, singing to your trees is part of the
essential essence of your Student/Believer, your intuitive side. I sing
to trees, too, by golly, including two small Hawaiian ki plants (cf. ti
plants) in my house. That's not the issue for you. The issue seems to
be respect.
But . . . what about the other day, when you were responding to my
lecturing in class? Go back above the dotted line above and study our
remarks to each other again. What are you doing there? And, why did
what you are doing there remind Coach of "the music of the Dictator?"
>At least me opening up this melodic can of worms can open some new discussions on how others are impacted on this subject. . . . Hope to see some good feedback!
Very well put! And thanks for communicating this. It lets me know that
it's okay to continue our "calling on students" experiment, by my
throwing it open for answers from your classmates. Again I appreciate
your courage and straightforwardness, Suz, in helping me to see if this
experimental form of classroom conversation can work for us here.
>A different stream of music all together the music of humankind?
Yes, yes! Great way to put it! Studying the music of the eight types
so we can recognize the different sounds of each of these types *can be
called* studying "the music of humankind!" That's exactly what we're
doing here, in fact!
>Wow did they just start realizing that music is a super helpful tool for all?Could possibly be one of the oldest forms of therapy known to man!
Well said!
And, in that now-famous "I am glad you mentioned something about music,
Coach" posting of yours {wide grin}, what is it that you are you doing
there? Class??? Anybody???
Coach
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