workouts, dads, and dishes...life Posted by Jeff on November 16, 1999 at 10:01:26:
In Reply to: Re: First Post posted by Sally on November 13, 1999 at 19:41:03:
Hi Sally & All:
Sally>I have all the rhetoric down on this mindfulness experiment...but
it seems to allude me when it would be most beneficial.
I have the same problem as I expect most novices do. The coach related
this to working out somewheres a while back. Just because I know how to
run doesn't mean I'm ready for the race. I may know what to wear, what
to eat, but I'm not in shape. Suppose I start working out, and after
the first week I decide to run a 10K. Odds are I will run slowly or
even walk, and possibly injure myself. Yet if I work out for a few
months then run a race, at least I might be able to finish and not
injure myself. As I continue to workout, over time I run faster, I run
longer races, and I am less troubled by injury.
That is where I am. First if my "results"(I am a bit hesitant to use
that word as to me it represents expectations which are sort of
counterproductive) are less than amazing, ie. I sleep right thorugh
that meeting with a friend. I hear things that they don't say, and I
say things I don't really mean. I stalk away after a brief time and
feel hurt. If however I have been practicing in nonconfrontational
situations such as doing the dishes, or in the shower, etc.. Slowly it
becomes easier to bring the awareness out in public. I might start with
people that I actually get along with(if I can't do it here, then it is
unlikely that it will work when its hitting the fan).
At this point the parallels to working out really kick in. I have been
slacking off on my workouts(physical) lately, and I feel it, and I know
that I couldn't run as far or as fast as I could at the end of the
summer. I still know how to run, I'm just out of shape. Just like this,
my awareness practice rises and falls based on the effort I put into
it. For me its not so much hard as it just requires effort, and I
suspect that may be one of the reasons why its practice is not more
common. I have felt like giving up a number of times, but I try not to
place expectations on my practice, and this allows me to continue on
despite how slowly I seem to be going.
It has been an intersting few days, as my wife is away for a week on
business. Everytime I mention this, I hear something like:
"so you're babysitting this week"
"who's watching the kids?"
"you survived the first night"
My judge and rebel team up here as I explain:
"that its not babysitting when they're your own kids"
"The dogs have been taking care of the kids"
"I have large supply of duct tape"
I didn't realize that as I was answering that this was my judge, I
merely heard their judge, and mine kicked in. So I have been trying
something more like:
"yes"
"I am"
"yes"
Even something this simple requires my effort of waking up when people
are talking to me. Sometimes I do it and often I don't.
Take care all, jeff
PS. I know I have posted some of this before, but for those that are
new, and as a reminder to myself:
Bathing a Newborn Buddha
-- Thich Nhat Hanh
To my mind, the idea that doing the dishes is unpleasant can occur only
when you are not doing them. Once you are standing in front of the sink
with your sleeves rolled up and your hands in warm water, it really is
not so bad. I enjoy taking my time with each dish, being fully aware of
the dish, the water, and each movement of my hands. I know that if I
hurry in order to go and have a cup of tea, the time will be unpleasant
and not worth living. That would be a pity, for each minute, each
second of life is a miracle. The dishes themselves and the fact that I
am here washing them are miracles! Each bowl I wash, each poem I
compose, each time I invite a bell to sound is a miracle, each has
exactly the same value. One day, while washing a bowl, I felt that my
movements were as sacred and respectful as bathing a newborn Buddha. If
he were to read this, that newborn Buddha would certainly be happy for
me, and not at all insulted at being compared with a bowl.
Each thought, each action in the sunlight of awareness becomes sacred.
In this light, no boundary exists between the sacred and the profane. I
must confess it takes me a bit longer to do the dishes, but I live
fully in every moment, and I am happy. Washing the dishes is at the
same time a means and an end that is, not only do we do the dishes in
order to have clean dishes, we also do the dishes just to do the
dishes, to live fully in each moment while washing them.
If I am incapable of washing dishes joyfully, if I want to finish them
quickly so I can go and have a cup of tea, I will be equally incapable
of drinking the tea joyfully. With the cup in my hands I will be
thinking about what to do next, and the fragrance and the flavor of the
tea, together with the pleasure of drinking it, will be lost. I will
always be dragged into the future, never able to live in the present
moment.
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