Re: I apologize for this piece—far too outrageous and insensitive! Posted by Lydia on December 05, 1999 at 21:38:29:
In Reply to: I apologize for this piece—far too outrageous and insensitive! posted by John on December 03, 1999 at 21:12:31:
Hi, Coach,
Your apology raises an interesting issue. You say in your classes that
it is possible to act as only one personality type at a time. However,
I find that both main personality types (I still maintain there are
two) are in play at all times, and this generates our internal
conflicts. What I saw in your MSP-posting and the apology is the
conflict between an artist/rebel's need for free self-expression and
student/believer's need for approval - when you were writing the
posting, you thought you could have both. Then, that lady didn't like
it, and other people were silent, so, the student/believer became
really anxious, and apologized (although probably, the artist was
resentful, because nobody understood - and this can spoil the day). If
everybody liked your MSP related posting (including that lady), would
you have apologized ? Is the value of what you say or do directly
proportional to the number of people who like it or agree with you ? I
did not find your posting offensive, but, no matter what you write, it
may 'rub somebody the wrong way' as you like to put it. Even if you
wanted only to entertain (did you ?), humor is in the eyes/ears of the
beholder.
As far as the old lady from the supermarket is concerned, I normally
don't like to comment on situations where I did not participate, but,
if you hadn't seen the display of arrogance before and when she
informed you that she was in a hurry, would your reaction have been
different ? Was she polite when she asked you to let her go first ?
Here, once again, I see the same conflict - an artist/rebel who is
allergic to such displays of self-importance and a student/believer who
wants to be considered 'a gentleman', regardless of personal cost.
Since I have the same two types most pronounced, all this sounded so
familiar...I think (based on my doing the homework so far) the only way
to avoid the manipulation from another person is to let the other
person know that you are aware of it. There are many ways to do it, and
what is best at the moment depends on the nature of the situation and
participants. However, if we always managed to do what is best, this
'classroom talk' would be a complete waste of time. And not only the
clasroom talk. But, as long as we check our motives carefully, and make
sure they are OK, we can say we are doing well.
As for the long silence on my part, it has nothing to do with your
postings - I've been extremely busy lately. Also, as Jeff said,
sometimes it means students are doing their homework.
Be well.
Lydia
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