Been there...and am STILL there! Posted by Sally on December 15, 1999 at 14:46:23:
In Reply to: Re: Sometimes, a student's troubles take precedence in my schedule here. posted by Michael on December 14, 1999 at 10:52:16:
Dear Michael~
I do not think that it is your "destiny" to fix your wife! I also
disagree with some of the things that John said, as I have a similar
situation and "being sweet" to my X has not worked at all. In fact, he
takes it as a form of my "giving in" and treats me even worse. I do not
think you should give her another wedding ring either....unless you
still love her...and/or are chosing to be miserable for another few
years. Once you do...say give her the ring, she will throw it in your
face in the future....mark my words....and probably tell you...:"Then
why did you give me the ring for Xmas..." All I know is that in the
future, I am going to pick a person whom I do not have to always
be "watching what I say " to. Sometimes one just have to realize that
we made a big mistake....and once the feeling dies...I do not think it
can always be "rekindled." I have been "trying" for almost 2 years, and
I wish I had just had the guts to stand my ground and end it
completely, once and for all. I still do not know how to do
it "mindfully" believe me. But I do know...that this person does not
make me happy...and I should be able to go on with my life...but all
the mindfulness in the world is not gonna change my X....and I have
changed...so it is now even harder. I feel for you...but just don't
make the same mistake I did. Ther might be some wonderful lady out
there....who won't care how the heck you make your coffee...and why
should you NOT have turkey next year....your wife is out of line, not
you! Just my most honest opinion...sorry John, but I don't think he
should have to live his life catering to her dysfunctional behaviors.
Hang in there....and I am on semester break too, so if you need to get
any instant feedback...you can always e-mail me direct!!! lol
Namaste~
Sally;-)
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