A pleasing pause, to me.
Posted by John on November 01, 2001 at 16:35:02:

This has been a spontaneous pause here in class that I've been pleased with. First, of all, I've just started talkin' with Bruce about the theme of "going
fast" (several others of you will remember this subject coming up in this class before). As the coach, I'd like to pay attention to not going too fast,
either, when I can wake up on it. And I've realized that I've been clipping along at a hundred miles an hour here lately. Heh-heh. There was a lot of
tofu in that last class. And I'm glad for a pause that allows some more time for some of it to be digested.

For instance, if you are going ahead trying out that feelings-and-thinking exercise I suggested, Bruce, it's good for you to have a few days to explore
that and experience that, before I rush on ahead and throw a lot more words about things at you. — This is a good point for you students here who
may be teaching some of these same kinds of things in your own words and ways someday, to pay attention to. It's well-recognized in mindfulnesss
training circles that it's good to leave a space for the other person to assimilate what's happened already so far. It's good to leave a space, on purpose,
for the other to just be there with it.

And it's good to leave a space for a student to catch-on to a teaching point on his or her own, whenever possible, before the teacher explains the point
(i.e. "does this work *for them*."). It's good coaching that leaves a space for the student to catch-on on their own. It's very good for a mindfulness
student go through this catching-on experience on their own, whenever it can happen.

In fact, this "leaving a space for the other person on purpose" is one of the intentional "moves" of the awareness game, that a player who knows about
it can pull out of his or her pocket when occasions call for it.

Leave a space for the other person to have heard you through and through. Slow down. Stop. Allow them plenty of time to reply. Leave a space
for the other person to catch on, on their own. Stop. If you keep talking, you may over-ride their catching on.

By pausing, I also leave some more space for Bruce to decide he's had enough time for awhile in the hotseat—if that's true. It's always good for a
teacher to leave enough room for a student to step back again and reflect, without having to face more light from the thousand candles at that time . .
. unless they feel like continuing, of course! I would say this area of deference by a coach is a hallmark of good coaching work. And I'm workin' on it,
still! ;-) But I *do* tend to get in a hurry when I'm excited about what I'm coaching.

And, by leaving a space for it (I guess I might have mentioned earlier that I've been energized each of these days and eager to press on!), by stopping
instead, I'm actually cooperating with my own intentions when I suggested that students might benefit by reviewing a month of Bruce's game-tapes
before I go on. Rushing on, as I've been spring-loaded to do here, I would nullify my own intentions. By pausing a few days here, I allow a space for
that game-tape review. I allow time for those of the regulars who are around here nowadays, or anyone who just got here, to have some more time
to actually do that exercise that I shared. I leave a space for it. After all, I'm always seeing if I can find ways to be teaching the whole class at the same
time, even when the focus is on only one of you.

I'm no brute, when it comes to these things, but I do point out that there can be values in doing exercises like that tape-review exercise on your own
before I get around to sharing the things that I've noticed in going through that material . . . "giving it away," so to speak. You get more value out of
it if you actually go through the exercise and do it on your own first.

Maybe you went and reviewed those tapes and didn't see much of anything. Yet you actually walked your body through it, and you had such
experiences as you had in attempting to notice whatever might stand out for you in high relief. Then, when you hear my sharings, you might say:
"Aha, I hadn't looked at it that way!" Or perhaps you disagree. It doesn't matter. But you have actually walked your body through the exercise, and
that is an existential start in really doing this work. And I hope there will be more chances that come along to practice this as time goes by, as others of
you may find that you can hop right into that hotseat and get on with it. So you all get oportunities for "catching-on experiences" again.

In theory, at least, or my lesson plan, anyway . . . those of you who do this work will learn to recognize the types, off the tops of your heads, by *the
music* of each of the types. And you will carry this ability around with you in your pocket, to pull out and put into play whenever you feel like it.
Not only will you be able to read human behavior like a book, as they say, in as much detail as you care to, but you will have in-depth insights and
understandings about each of the types that you can remember, in making up your own mind—when you are being awake on a mindful platform in a
present situation—exactly how you will choose to act in the situation that lies at hand.

And even though it's true that when the music of one of the types is playing loudly around you, you may often wake up on it and realize that it's
happening, it's still always up to you—in any given here and now—whether or not you would decide to bother to go ahead and keep awake, and
continue watching what's going on through the "handy-dandy" prism of the personality wheel.

So it's no bother, as far as I can see, getting to know this personality information, learning it "by heart." It can remind you to wake up when
interesting things are happening. Or in situations when you're glad to have it in your pocket to know about, it's always right there with you to put
into use right on the spot. But you don't have to bother with it unless you feel like it. And . . . all the rest of your life goes on as always, without your
even knowing that it's in your pocket there.

And, in my humble opinion as a coach, you'll learn all this quicker, and much more keenly, by doing the mindfulness exercises that are provided.

Coach

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