I just want to share a small piece of mindfulness training.
Posted by lou on November 11, 2001 at 08:15:20:

Hello class:

I just wanted to share a very small piece of mindfulness training I try
to use as I can remember wherever I find it helpful.

I’ve observed I can’t be identified with unpleasant things and with
pleasant things at the same time, once I become identified with one
negative state ‘it’ seems to attract other negative states to ‘itself’.
When my ‘attention’ goes in this negative direction even my ‘memory’ is
different –the unpleasant things move up into the foreground and
pleasant things become faint and indistinct.

Sometimes if I can catch on to this little trick being played on ‘me’:
by relaxing and observing (knowing) “hey lou this is a negative state
not you”, and try to suspend all thought and movement and tension in
the muscles and in the brain as best as I can. (That is get quiet ‘be’
still inside and out and simply observe objectively. Note: this can be
in the middle of an activity as well.) Right here the situation “is
often” suddenly changed and a better state takes its place. At least as
long as I can hold my attention to it. Sometimes this practice can move
me into a more peaceful and relaxed state for minutes, hours, or even
days where every thing becomes lighter. With continued practice coupled
with other specific work it can be a type of catalyst to even move me
through and out of depression. But note I have also noticed that self-
observation of this type without “Mindfulness” is simply not good
practice. With Mindfulness I’m lifted up or moved out of the negative
state. This is like moving into a different room and closing the door
and sitting down quietly. Without Mindfulness I am likely to fall into
an avalanche of self-incrimination.

Now grated I unremittingly as time passes jump my ‘racehorse-ass’ up,
run back to the door, fling it wide open and like a ‘dog returning to
it own vomit’, I sit down in the middle of the room and commence to
attract (lap up this disgorge) all these old so familiar negative
emotions to me.

lou

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