Re: We don't know each other (Part Two)
Posted by Jeff on December 06, 2001 at 10:35:24:

In Reply to: We don't know each other (Part Two) posted by John on November 30, 2001 at 21:08:28:

Hello Coach & All:

I was listening to NPR last night and ex-president Carter was being
interviewed. He was discussing mediation and how it works. Similar to
other stuff I have read and heard in classes, both sides must in the
end feel that they have "won". That they have received more than they
have given.

Whether between significant others, parents & kids, or leaders of
nations this is how it works...because you are mediating personalities.
Both sides are deeply attached to their positions and their egos must
win or no matter what is agreed upon will be discarded later.

coach wrote>The whole problem, and the way these tense situations come
up in the first place, is that we don't know each other. We don't
understand where each other are coming from. If we did understand, we
wouldn't have to get uptight about stingers at all.

I'm not sure that "understanding" or knowledge about someone else
actually prevents me from getting upset. It may help, but likely as not
when I think I know I am simply second guessing, a fantasy game which
ultimately causes me more trouble. Does knowing the truth increase my
compassion?

For me it is my attachment to myself, my "inherent rightness" or ego
that is like a blanket I pull up whenever I am sleeping. When I wake
up, I get out of bed and leave my blanket of ego and attachments
behind. It is possible for me to listen or to read a stinger and not be
stung, merely to acknowledge the sentiment as yours.

Perhaps for me, the true understanding is only really revealed when I
am being mindful, hmmm.

Coach wrote>Love doesn't cover our sins, in my view at least. It is our
sins that cover our love. It is when we get all the Self-ishness, all
the "me first" out on the table transparently, and we learn to become
contrite about that, and step aside from that . . . . . that is when
the love in each one of us will spontaneously and sincerely come
shining on through.

AMEN! Jeff

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