Classroom Talk
Fall 2001 Archive
With you All on Christmas Eve Posted by John on December 24, 2001 at 21:47:20:
In Reply to: Significance of Coachji's Birthday posted by Rakesh Sharma on December 24, 2001 at 07:33:43:
Santa is bringing me what I've been wishing for this Christmas, Folks. And I hope it is the same with all of you and your Families.
I didn't keep my promise to show up for that "last class of the year" that Friday. Ho-hum. What else is new? ;-)
I have an excuse. (Doormats *always* have excuses.) A blessing seemed to be happening, and I spent the day with that. When I started feeling guilty
about you, Bruce, it occurred to me that as familiar as you are with the wheelbook, you don't need me to summarize the personality and essence of
those three types, as I promised. There wasn't a real world need for me to do that for you.
And as for those childhood memories . . . Let me start by saying that I usually underline print-outs that I make of postings by you students, high-
lighting the most blatant things that I think are the most obvious and apparent examples of the kinds of things I'm trying to shine a light on at the time.
And I went back to read that very well written and detailed posting you made, Bruce, in answering my two questions about your childhood. And,
do you know what? I had underlined every single line of that whole long posting, one sentence after another. From beginning to end, it seemed to
me to be obvious that the circumstances you grew up in, as expressed in that post, and the attitudes you formed about life then were bound to lead to
all these evidences of your Fate and Destiny that we have been discussing in heuristic detail in this series of classes—that is, appeared to lead obviously
to the emergence of Student/Believer, Hard Worker/Doormat, and Player/Judge that appears to be your style, at this point in your life. In other
words, I think you could re-read that tape of yours, on your own, without me, and be able to catch on, "Oh, yeah! I see how my parents being those
ways, and me adopting those personality styles in growing up with them, makes sense and fits together!"
If I gave final exams in this class or asked for "term papers"—and I don't, thank Heavens!—I might ask you Bruce to write your own exposition on
how the events of your childhood (as illustrated in that posting answering my two questions) grew into the observeable conditioned adult patterns
that still travel around with your pain body today.
I won't ask you to do that, because it's the Holiday Vacation now. But if you're impatient to know the answers, I could be of no greater service to
you as a conscietious coach, than to urge you to try to discover those answers on your own. I think, with the fertile posting you've got there to work
with, there's a distinct possibility you can give a good account of your experience in this on your own. But again, it's Holiday Vacation. Don't do it on
my account. I'm only making a point.
For my highest priority in coaching with you and the rest of the Good Men in a Hurry crowd, is in trying to lay the foundations that will let you see
that you are better off, in this kind of work, finding the answers on your own, without depending on me.
Anyway, I didn't play hookie that Friday to be mean to you, Bruddah. An amazing blessing befell me that day, and I followed it all over this Santa
Cruz Valley of Tucson. And I thought, while that blessing was going on, "Well, maybe Bruce can rejoice for me in this." (That would be good practice,
in fact—rejoicing for a dear colleague doing something else instead of keeping a promise to do what you wanted.)
After all these years being kind of a hermit, and an old loner coyote, this year for my birthday I met somebody. In fact, my dear friend Rolf, who
died awhile ago, had urged her to "check me out," so to speak, not long before he died. It's *much too early* to say anything more about it than that .
. . . . except maybe to say, "Thank you, Santa!" And smile. And *know* it's just a chance—that's the important thing! I always have liked these
chances when they have come up in my life during times when I have been alone. Now, puh-leeze, let's not get out ahead of ourselves about this,
everybody! I'm just tryin' to share with you why I'm smilin'. If we can just learn to take these days of blessing one at a time (I'm talkin' to me here!)
and not get out ahead of ourselves . . . one way or another, everything will turn out fine. I like this lady. The experience of that, in itself, is fine. And
it's got to be enough, one here-and-now at a time . . . . . or, like I said the other day, it will blow the mast and sails off my boat.
And this evening, I'm alone as usual. Tomorrow, it's back out to the ranch before dawn. Odd thing about me, I've been working on Christmasses
throughout my whole life. When I was in the Air Force in Morocco, I volunteered for that duty when everybody else wanted to be off. During the
decade I was a newspaper reporter, as they need reporters every day and night of the year, I always volunteered to be there on Christmasses and
New Years. It's odd, isn't it? I guess it's some kind of personality thing. And yet, I've taken some kind of stubborn pride in doing it that way. I get
some kind of satisfaction out of it. And I can't say I haven't been happy on these holidays. Often I've been very happy to be working on those days,
indeed. And it's as if I've "figured out," or it's "come to me" somehow, that it doesn't have to matter to me. In some absurd framework, working on
Christmas Day makes me feel *free*.
And by the way, Rakesh, tomorrow *is* my birthday, and not the 21st. But like you, I pay a lot of ceremonial attention to the Winter Solstice, as that
is the sacred winter event in both American Indian and Hawaiian practices which are very close to my heart and daily observations.
I'd better get some supper now and get to bed as early as possible. Tomorrow is another day.
Merry Christmas to All of you, and to your families, as well. All my deepest wishes for your happiness (and awareness in times of stress) to you All.
Remember you're in there behind those eyes. Be cool. And Happy New Year, too (in case I am playing hookie around that date). ;-)
Love,
Coach-ji {blush}
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