Classroom Talk
Winter 2002 Archive
Re: The emergence of . . . "the hotbench." ;-) Posted by Pauline on March 13, 2002 at 23:10:25:
In Reply to: The emergence of . . . "the hotbench." ;-) posted by John on March 12, 2002 at 14:50:12:
Hi Coach,
I have printed out this post and will read it again later. Have to fly.
At first glance you certainly seem to have me 'pegged'.
My frame of reference is more....like this....
My sister has been prescribed a six week course of chemotherapy. I
personally think this is a very aggressive, invasive treatment. She
tries to get me to agree with her that "it could be worse." There is a
plea in her voice (tell me I'm not as in deep a shit as I really suspect
I am.) I don't want to be 'hard' on her. I also don't want to lie to
her and myself.
My whole family-of-origin (two brothers, two sisters) nurture and run
unconsciously with old hurts/guilt/fears/blame/shame etc. etc. So I
find it very hard to communicate with them on any meaningful level
because we are basically coming from very different premises. They are
still in denial of our alcoholic upbringing.
So ...
I will be back later.... not to much later...(I hope)
but the 'alone' part comes in here,
If I want to have any kind of relationship with them I have to pretend I
am the same. I have to pretend I came from reasonably, healthy parents,
who did the best they could !!!
In his alcoholic rages my father (huge man, red in the face, spittle
coming out of his mouth) yells at his young children,
####You are all BLOODY idiots #### and I'll break every bone in your
body #####
These occasions happened often, sometimes twice a week. He was very
unpredictable and threw his temper tantrums whenever it suited him. As
a child I lived in a house of fear/terror.
I will respond in a more sequential fashion soon.
I do definitely have my mother Doormat ways.
thanks,
Pauline.
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