Classroom Talk
Winter 2002 Archive
Re: About several of you . . . and the Sweet Sixteen. ;-) Posted by Eddie on March 23, 2002 at 16:38:15:
In Reply to: About several of you . . . and the Sweet Sixteen. ;-) posted by John on March 21, 2002 at 18:06:36:
Coach:
Yes, those several postings were times when I was being inspired and
yes likely even around my understanding of material that I had been
reading and studying like Nicoll. I have been making a daily reading of
his work for some months now. But with my posting those days the key
word I believe is “inspired”, where I had not exactly been trying to
find words of my own and a way of my own (from personality) to express
the same ideas or theories in a posting here. But these words, thoughts
and ideas, inspirations if you will, had actually been coming up in me
those days from my “essence” in response to the experiences “life” was
bringing my way. As you have rightly perceived I am growing, al-be it
slowly I will add, and I’m even able to catch tinny glimpses of this at
certain mindful (awakened) moments such as these. Although you are
right on with your observations that this is ‘often’ my mode of
operation with many of my postings. And I sincerely thank you for your
encouragement with these type exercises you’ve expressed here, though I
honestly feel no need for approval in any of this to much today. Though
I do have a strong desire for communion (communication) with others
about these ideas and experiences. And I am continuing to become a
little clearer on how too approach this desired ideal with such feed-
back as you have freely given me here. Your continued patience in these
regards is duly appreciated.
Now I have gotten so far behind in classroom talk these days I was
tempted to simply drop all this and just pick up with any random thread
I could identify with currently. But for my own benefit I’ve opted to
try an answer the questions you have posed to me here in this post. And
I am in hopes this will not be of any interruption to the current flow
of the class.
>I'd like to see you become able to treat these drafts like sketches on
a sketchpad, that you tear off and *throw away* as soon as they are
posted. (Can you see any kind of sense in my saying that?)
Yes I think I get what you’re saying here. It’s like you have a kind-a
kindred understanding of my deeper desires, wishes, and hopes (as well
as the roadblocks) in pertaining to being able to give my self through
writing. I can imagine your watching me at times takes you back to many
earlier times in your own experiences with these similar type dreams as
well as dilemmas. Where as treating these preliminary works as
discarded scraps of paper, will hopefully help me to continue to open
up to more and more deeper experienced intuitive personal expressions
of unified wholeness with the message that is given to me as my own
personal gift of “Being”. In short cut through the bullshit and be
myself freely, and selflessly give that real part of myself without
regret or apprehension.
>But in these several postings we are talking about, that is not a
conversation. Each of those postings is another "painting,"…rather than
a conversation with the rest of us. Do you follow me on this, Eddie?
Yes, I think I do see your point somewhat clearly, and thank you.
>"See? This is what I have done, Coach. Look at it. Tell me what you
think of it."
I was not so interested in what you thought “OF” my work, but what you
thought and felt “IN” it, what are your ‘beliefs’ and
or ‘understandings’ about the ideas expressed. This may likely be none
of my damned business by the way, and this as I had stated may not be
the forum for this, that is if this line of discussion can have any
true value or merit at all. I do understand your point though about
these particular post in question as being somewhat broad, but the
couple of post in question (which I agree is not always the case) have
not been so nebulas in my not so humble opinion. At any rate any
writing I might hope to ever be doing is most certainly a secondary aim
to awakening to a useful, contented and purposeful life of ‘giving’ in
general; actually simply an on going outer expression of such inner
transformation is a High Aim. And the prerequisite to any of this is
that I must begin to wake-up and face the fact that I am most of the
time (at best) simply experiencing Eddie, as sound asleep stuck in his
acquired personality while mainly automatically reacting to life in a
pre-programmed way. Then once in a while I’m able to side-step this
mechanical Eddie and something more essentially substantial (Real)
emerges to have “It’s” own expression through this being my mother and
father labeled Eddie over fifty years ago now.
>My "Eddie strategy" is to attempt to guide you along the way…
Ok Coach I’ve clearly understood your communication in and around this
comment you’ve made, and yes I ‘do’ empathizes with your coaching aims
in this, for Eddie. And yes I believe I’m being fairly clear with it,
and your discussion here as almost always is a help to me in all this
>Sometimes it seems you're on a trail that is leading towards answers
you haven't quite seen so far. But I don't necessarily feel it's my job
to tell you that. I feel it's my job to coach you how to see all the
answers on your own.
Yes I get this but little Eddies personality don’t much give a tinkers
damn for the idea laughing out loud as my anger melts away with this.
I know I have assuredly lost the original emphasis of my missed the
mark post and don’t feel the necessity in reviewing my position with
that here now. Except to say in reviewing your post to me here I have
now in retrospect seen myself vying for “intimacy” in communication,
that I have yet to have invested the “work time” or “developed the
understanding” to have that particular level of relationship with you,
as a Coach or as an individual. But on the other hand your efforts
toward this development have always been forthright and continue to be
exemplary.
Yours truly,
Eddie as the Wizards Apprentice
P.S. Well it looks like I’ve finished just in time to get this posted
before the ball game is over. I hear Roy and Wanda rooting in the
living room so I walked through to get another cup of coffee and saw
the score 5? To 63 with 6min. in the second. So I guess I’ll catch the
last couple of minutes. I sure hope I don’t jink them.
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Archived 05/02/2002