...with children?
Posted by Eddie on April 28, 2002 at 21:18:53:

I’m back, hello everyone.

I’ve not written in a long time, and am doing so here now more out of
frustration or desperation, as a sense of obligation “to myself” as
such.

I’ve read all the post I have missed while being on vacation for the
past week. Wanda and I had a marvelous trip. Though it was very short,
because we let weather, and water levels divert our normal destination
for the first two-day’s. When med-week we through complete exasperation
gave up our preconceived notions and said what the hell and went
anyway. Yes you guessed it, it was great. Though it was short, it
turned out to be one of our best trips yet.

Back to my opening comment. There are truly two sides to this coin.
First the positive side…when taking such long stretches of not writing
(not with this class work only) I am forced to draw satisfaction’s from
other expressions through natural phenomena going on in my own inner
and outer experiences. Which brings balance to my life when I’m mindful
to work with, and wake up to them. And it is no secret to myself I need
much more balance in this area than I do normally posses. On the
negative side… neglecting the willing disciplined action of writing –
i.e. natural artistic expression of my essential being, I tend to
become lazy and disconnected from my true self in a subtle
disconcerting sense.

When inspiration with any endeavor does not seem to come I find I can
use the power of mindfulness in self-examination and at times bring
into my consciousness some particular psychic obstacle that might be
blocking me. These psychic structures are forms of thoughts or
emotions, though usually both work in unison, in the negative arena
anyway. At times I can bring these into the light and inspiration
begins to flow effortlessly. And then at other times it remains
completely allusive to me. And its as Coach has said like confusion can
be the gate into understanding.

Ah yes, with children? From my own miserable failure with this
experience I’ve became crystal clear on two simple points. Success lies
in these particular directions. “Number One”…kindly sensitive aware
time spent with the child, while knowing yourself (inner joy and
contentment speaks louder than any verbal message can). “Number Two”…
always remember though little, they are people to, while respecting
their human-being-ness. (Their being will meet your being, whatever
state it may be in.) Never allow yourself to be fooled into believing
you can fool them in these essential respects for they
instinctually “feel” you before they ever hear much less understand
you. Learn to communicate with them at their own level of
understanding. Use your own sense of feeling to test where that can
be “gently” stretched into growth in time. It’s most important that
they know for themselves and by them what any particular aim “they” may
make really means –i.e. where it’s formed inside them and where they
intend it to lead. Then it will be their experience to gain whether it
is accomplished or not. You as the adult must try and always remember
that “knowledge” and “being” grow completely simultaneously. This is
not to say we can not gain more knowledge than we are ready to “be”,
which is the most common scenario with adults. But the opposite is most
often true with children, where their being may be well ahead in growth
to their knowledge. We can not really do either “for” them the very
best we can do is share our own experience strength and hope where
they’re willing to take it. They are not so different than ‘we’ in the
respect that we can be encouraged to go our own natural intrinsic
direction, but will vehemently rebel against pressure to be what we are
not essentially designed to be. We can even go way far from our natural
essential being if overly frustrated to grow in areas we are not yet
ready to grow or even simply my never be meant to grow. The child will
let you know where they are ready if you give them varied options in
which to choose. In short believe in yourself and believe in the
child. Children as well as we can never “be” more than they “know”
experientially.

Please understand that I realize what I have stated here are basically
expressions of somewhat perfect ideals. And I understand that to any
individual situation that may have not had these specific principles
set in practice there will by necessity be many variables thus
corrections to be made. But as Coach or someone has pointed to we start
where we are. When we “enjoy” our own being, and enjoy the child’s
being he will naturally grow to be the same.

Eddie

P.S. Ditto to Pauline…Coach thank you for sharing another part of your
life with us.

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Archived 08/26/2002