Classroom Talk
Spring - Summer 2002 Archive
Authentic communication? Posted by Student John on May 03, 2002 at 15:38:43:
In Reply to: Eating crow for breakfast. posted by John on May 03, 2002 at 11:39:50:
Hey Coach, it was not Douglas but rather mindfulness that I was
defending. I'm having trouble with authentic communication and I'm
clear that sincere "contrition" as in your last post is truly
authentic. Is it possible for you to turn back the clock and give us
an example of what an authentic communication to Douglas in the first
instance might have been?
I have a shorter history with Douglas than you but certain of his
posts do put a score on my board as we know when I tried to manipulate
him. Perhaps “authentic communication” with him is silence but it’s
got to be more than that. I’ve gone back to Douglas’ posting of 04/01
entitled Ways and Means on which I was working with my condensed
version of the nine moves when interrupted by my grandson’s request to
play darts. Eventhough that posting was not to me, I’m going to try
and recapture that process as though it was and would appeciate any
feedback from you, Douglas, or other members of the class.
1a. What am I feeling? Initially put down, talked down to. On
further reading sympathy. 1b What is he feeling? Initially
apologetic, then above the fray, returning to the feeling of being
lost, maybe even lonely. 2a. What am I thinking. Initially, he’s an
ass and is making it hard for us to get to know him. Secondly, he’s
putting on a show, looking for admiration. 2b. What is he thinking?
How can I show I’m better? 3a. What do I want to do? Initially tell
him off. Secondarily, write him off. 3b. What does he want? To have
me engage him on his ”turf?” 4a. What am I going to do? Initially,
nothing. 4b. What is he going to do? If I rise to the bait, he’ll
snag me. He’s more clever. Here’s my attempt at an “authentic
communication:” Douglas, This posting contains as do many of your
others many warm insights about you and warm feelings toward the
Coach, classmates and me. I feel you care about the Coach, our
classmates and me. I care about you. In those portions of your
communications where you’re preachy, showing your erudition, picking
fights, patting yourself on the back, or putting someone in their
place, it’s hard for me to be with you. I like the times you make it
easy to be with you. I like that you can be slyly awake as in "letting
sleeping Dougs lie" I suspect you have much to teach us from your
experience without the quotation marks. Sincerely, Student John
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Archived 08/26/2002