Classroom Talk
Spring - Summer 2002 Archive
Pauline's thread. Posted by John on May 06, 2002 at 10:54:44:
Sure, Pauline. I'd be happy to see if I can formulate a short bunch of questions that may help bring a profile of your conditioned personality formation
into high relief for you. And it doesn't take any "long essays" to do that, either.
Let me point out first that your quite short posting—"Re: No more Mr. Nice Guy . . . coming soon! ;-)" on May 5—is a good example of "speaking up,"
in and of itself! That *is* speaking up, isn't it?
And you have shown a lot of talent over the years in getting a lot of truth expressed with crisp one-liners, incisive sentences that get right to the point
with insights. I wouldn't take that skill away from you, and ask you to become "long-winded" like me in the way you express your thoughts. Even so,
I'm not convinced that you don't have it in you to write a long essay now and then if the situation were to call for it.
But a person's personality shows up, even in short postings. Look here:
>I am not able (or willing) to follow through on your former advice towards "speaking up" (I agree this makes it extra hard for you!!!) but I am simply not able write long lengthy essays.
Okay. No problem. "I am not able . . ." What does that match up with on the personality wheel? — "I can't . . ." is Doormat music.
Then, in the phrase "but I am simply not able" you repeat that refrain. "But," is often a Doormat word, as well.
On the other hand, when you say "(or willing)" in parenthesis, you are taking responsibility for what you are saying. That shows a strength in you
there. "Being willing" is a Can-Do Person's statement. "Will" is a function of Can-Do-ness.
So even in that short paragraph there are a couple of clues to contemplate. — Whatever a person says at any time will provide clues to their
personality and their essence.
And:
>Well I would like to hear some of your best coaching hunches.
"I would like to" is a good example of authentic communication (straight from the authentic communications list in the wheelbook). It is clear, powerful,
and expresses your own experience about the matter in a non-manipulative way. And . . . as you see, it is getting you results, right here and now.
Okay . . . . . let me start with a general question for you first, to provide a context for the short bunch of questions to follow. We can have a little chat
with brief posts in this thread, if you'd like to do that, and I will try to help you with this as well as I can.
Question 1:
What would you most like to see changed in your life by the end of this year?
Please make that a candid statement—something you would actually like to see changed in your life. And don't ask for a change in somebody else's
life, please (such as, "I'd like for so-and-so to be healthier and happier by the end of this year."). Ask for something for *you*.
After you respond to this, I can then make up some questions that pertain to how your conditioned personality may come into the picture in affecting
whether that wish will be realizable, or not.
Thanks,
Coach
Bear in mind that I'm on call this week at my other job. For instance, I have to work this afternoon and this evening. So I may not be able to respond
to you promptly if they keep calling me in. But, if you'll bear with me, I'm sure this exercise will work out fine.
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Archived 08/26/2002