Re: The nitty-gritty of mindfulness practice.
Posted by Student John on June 07, 2002 at 14:19:41:

In Reply to: The nitty-gritty of mindfulness practice. posted by John on June 06, 2002 at 16:55:51:

Hi Coach, I’ve been practicing. I particularly like the “sea of
sounds” and moving the eyes about taking in whatever they encounter
which gives me the feeling of being in there behind those eyes and
ears. Walking up the canyon is a totally different experience. I
know I’ve gone “asleep” when I’m staring down at the trail. Then I can
wake up to my thoughts which are always enlightening. I have started
several postings these last several weeks but all of them seem to be
straight out of one or more of my personality types so they were
trashed. I want to make a contribution to mindfulness and the best I
can to at the moment is to describe my process. I am “watching” my
thoughts as much as I can and have found that my thoughts tend to
congregate around blame, anger, guilt and worry-- fueling them and
feeding off them. It’s a chicken and egg thing, I don’t know which
comes first the thoughts or feelings but clearly they are about things
past about which I can nothing or about the future which I can neither
foretell nor do anything about until it arrives. It’s a vicious
cycle. Say I’m angry about something that hasn’t yet happened and may
never will, that anger will spawn thoughts producing more anger and
will readily attach to an event that is happening now and isn’t going
as I would like it to. As I’m about to explode in anger, it’s now
easier to stop and address what’s going on. Anger, blame, guilt and
worry are not easy for me to give up. Upon awaking in the morning, I
often find my thoughts/feelings racing forward and backward producing
anger and worry where there is no reason for any in the present
moment. I like your exercise of “Where am I?” To that I’ve added at
the suggestion of another teacher, “What am I,” “What’s going on,”
and “What can I do?” I’m off for two weeks with my wife and grandson
to baby sit her 92 year old father while his second wife takes a
vacation. I’ll catch up when I get back. Love, Student John

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