De Mello on addictions and awarness~
Posted by Sally on July 17, 2002 at 01:08:41:

In Reply to: The natural healing ritual of summer vacation. posted by John on June 20, 2002 at 16:17:27:

Hi all~
I have been dealing with this issue forever it seems, but I think
this says it best. Is it killing you yet???? Then STOP it!!! S

I want to give you a taste of the difference between analysis and
awareness, or information on the one hand and insight on the other.
Information is not insight, analysis is not awareness, knowledge is not
awareness. Suppose I walked in here with a snake crawling up my arm,
and I said to you, "Do you see the snake crawling up my arm? I've just
checked in an encyclopedia before coming to this session and I found
out that this snake is known as a Russell's viper. If it bit me, I
would die inside half a minute. Would you kindly suggest ways and
means by which I could get rid of this creature that is crawling up my
arm?" Who talks like this? I have information, but I've got no
awareness.

Or say I'm destroying myself with alcohol. "Kindly describe ways and
means by which I could get rid of this addiction." A person who would
say that has no awareness. He knows he's destroying himself, but he is
not aware of it. If he were aware of it, the addiction would drop that
minute. If I were aware of what the snake was, I wouldn't brush it off
my arm; it would get brushed off through me. That's what I'm talking
about, that's the change I'm talking about. You don't change yourself;
it's not me changing me. Change takes place through you, in you.
That's about the most adequate way I can express it. You see change
take place in you, through you; in your awareness, it happens. You
don't do it. When you're doing it, it's a bad sign; it won't last.
And if it does last, God have mercy on the people you're living with,
because you're going to be very rigid. People who are converted on the
basis of self-hatred and self-dissatisfaction are impossible to live
with. Somebody said, "If you want to be a martyr, marry a saint." But
in awareness, you keep your softness, your subtleness, your gentleness,
your openness, your flexibility, and you don't push, change occurs.

I remember a priest in Chicago when I was studying psychology there
telling us, "You know, I had all the information I needed; I knew that
alcohol was killing me, and, believe me, nothing changes an alcoholic --
not even the love of his wife or his kids. He does love them but it
doesn't change him. I discovered one thing that changed me. I was
lying in a gutter one day under a slight drizzle. I opened my eyes and
I saw that this was killing me. I saw it and I never had the desire to
touch a drop after that. As a matter of fact, I've even drunk a bit
since then, but never enough to damage me. I couldn't do it and still
cannot do it." That's what I'm talking about: awareness. Not
information, but awareness.

A friend of mine who was given to excessive smoking said, "You know,
there are all kinds of jokes about smoking. They tell us that tobacco
kills people, but look at the ancient Egyptians; they're all dead and
none of them smoked." Well, one day he was having trouble with his
lungs, so he went to our cancer research institute in Bombay. The
doctor said, "Father, you've got two patches on your lungs. It could
be cancer, so you'll have to come back next month." He never touched
another cigarette after that. Before, he knew it would kill him; now,
he was aware it could kill him. That's the difference.

The founder of my religious order, St. Ignatius, has a nice expression
for that. He calls it tasting and feeling the truth -- not knowing it,
but tasting and feeling it, getting a feel for it. When you get a feel
for it you change. When you know it in your head, you don't.

Anthony de Mello, SJ

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