Re: Something I share with you.
Posted by Student John on August 01, 2002 at 09:36:30:

In Reply to: Something I share with you. posted by Eon on July 31, 2002 at 06:06:21:

Hi Eon. Jealousy struck me quite early in life. I was three when my
father came home from the war and I saw my mother in the arms of a man
I didn’t know. Shortly thereafter my brother arrived and again a
shock to see another at my mother’s breast. Young children take their
caregiver’s attention as an inalienable right. Jealousy struck again
when my children were born and required the attention of my wife.
It’s still hits me even now when my wife and grandson are playing and
I’m not included. I continue take attention and approval as
my “right” rather than a gift. Of course it isn’t a right. Demanding
that another give me attention and approval doesn’t work. Blaming
others for giving or getting the attention that I “deserve” typically
has no effect. Complaining, which for me is to go into a sulk, puts
me further away from loved ones. Trading for the attention and
approval of another, by currying favor, never seemed to get me the
quid pro quo I thought I deserved. The best I have been able to do is
to examine that gaining pleasure, attention, approval and influence
may not be the purpose of life. It’s simple but not easy. Jealousy is
an opportunity to examine what’s going on with each of us, our
expectations and to adjust them if we choose. Several months ago
Douglas asked, “What is the motive here,” which began for me a broader
inquiry than that to which I previously had been open. Sincerely,
Student John

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