Classroom Talk
Fall 2002 Archive
Re: Being understood is possible, if you keep at it. Posted by Student John on October 22, 2002 at 09:08:00:
In Reply to: Being understood is possible, if you keep at it. posted by John on October 20, 2002 at 22:16:22:
Hi all. I don’t wish to interfere but offer these observations in
the spirit of helping.
Eddie wrote: “….. I had been referring to an assertive (as you have
put it) aspect of “Essence”. And that the rub you were feeling had not
been some kind of personality reaction going on because I was messing
with your design, per se, but rather because I was messing with your
own misconception of your own personal essence.”
Coach replied, “Now that you've explained that your own meaning
of "Not-So-Kind-Helper" would define that term in the Essence camp, I
think I catch on to what you mean. Since a Kind Helper in Personality
would help other people automatically, playing "a conditioned role of
kindness" that was coming out of
guilt . . . . . a Not-So-Kind-Helper would help other people only when
appropriate, and not put on the role of kindness coming out of guilt.
Does that jibe with your sense of what you were meaning to say?”
Are you missing one another? It seems so to me. Coach when you’ve
said you’re going to get “tough” with us students is that from your
Personality or Essence? You “toughness” doesn’t seem to come from
guilt or any other negative emotion portrayed on the wheel but rather
true interest in our becoming mindful. If I get the drift of your
meaning, “tough” for you means, not letting us slide, being assertive,
pointing out how we might be in Personality even when to do so
might “hurt.” Perhaps “tough” for you means not being in the Doormat
aspect. Eddie what I hear you saying is that Essence even on
the “passive” side of the wheel can be assertive (tough).
As a real red herring when Jesus said to Peter, “Get thee behind me
Satan” was Peter feeling “rebuked” by Essence or Personality? Is
there any way to know? Not for me. The Wheelbook for me is a great
guide to Personality but limited in its description of Essence. What
lies behind “false personality” to use Eddie’s term or Personality, in
coach’s parlance, is, for me, indefinable Spirit, sometimes seemingly
tough, assertive, even hurtful, but coming from agape not the negative
emotions nor the purpose of personal gain.
Please ignore all of the above if it doesn’t seem to fit. Sincerely,
Student John
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