Classroom Talk
Fall 2002 Archive
Re: When reconciliation lies at hand. Posted by Eddie on October 27, 2002 at 10:53:16:
In Reply to: When reconciliation lies at hand. posted by John on October 25, 2002 at 17:49:08:
Coach
Well it looks as though it’s just you and me o`l pale. I’m pretty sure
you didn’t take my two which I intended to have been at least three or
four post yesterday in the spirit of an example, of the weekend I had
suggested, in poor taste or disrespectful of your loss in anyway. For I
had and do here fully realize you are and likely now, and likely had
been yesterday very busy with the family of the man that had the
horrible accident the other day. My intentions were never to increase
the weight of that situation for you in anyway. I’m sure you know this
and fully understand my lighthearted filling of space here was and
is ‘the living presence of a friend that cares’. And I’ll even add here
that your sharing of your experience with us here has expanded
the “Living Presence” of this husband of a dear friend. And there is
actually no telling of what the full ramifications of this simple
gesture of heart-fullness might effect. But I know it has had an open
effect of caring concern in my soul. And as I’ve stated this gives the
husband of your dear friend a space to continue to exist in this
present moment of ‘now’.
>Somewhere in the "cosmic formula," this has to be acknowledged. It
happened by accident.
Yes I’m whole heartily with you here Coach and I know I have certainly
not advanced to the level of consciousness that lives above all
accidental phenomenon. Though your friends husband may very well have
at this point, although I have no way of verifying this of course. But
I believe it’s a gratifying thought at any rate.
> Eddie. If you have been here in class again and you haven't posted
again, that is toughness, that is the power of discipline.
Ok Coach if you say so, yet it had been extremely relaxed and it was
being even naturally easy to be not posting before you there. But let
me not fail to acknowledge ‘here’ that this is clearly, and I recognize
it as such, an honest expression and extension of your genuine serious
and heedful attentiveness and consciousness concern for me. And I’ll
add here it shows the “Magnificent” broadness of a warriors heart to be
pulling this post you have made here out of the very core of your
essential being in the midst of the grief all around you surrounding
the calamity there in your every day life at home in Tucson. To not be
making what would have been (only) in your mind an uncomfortably long
space for me to be setting in. I know you know that I have the bulk of
my class time to be here on many weekends. And you have freely given
yourself in the midst of your own personal situation to spare me any
uncomfortableness. This speaks volumes of the “Real Love” you are. And
I’ll note there is something else in this, you could have easily
considered from some kind of false toughness that you would just take
care of business there at the home front and let me set or squirm with
all this for my own good, and especially after all my talk on
aggressiveness/assertiveness as being from essence. Which would not
have had any affect on me until/if you talked about it later heh heh.
But you have taken the “Warriors” tact by sidestepping this tendency if
it was even there at all. These are the aspects of your essential
living presence that makes you so easy to love and respect. As a side
note here I hadn’t but I do now see a fuller aspect of how I was
rubbing you the wrong way in regards to the language (words) I was
using that was mixing up the way your cirrocumuli intentionally, and
essentially and clearly and I’ll add accurately depicted these
categories. I’m sorry about that, for I had more or less ignored your
feelings there unintentionally, because it was never my intention. But
I should have been more sensitive to how that was effecting you there
at that time.
John I’ve never really felt through our conversation that you have
really owed me an apology per-say. Oh it’s good for communications that
you have acknowledged your misunderstandings. But in and through it all
you have never been what I would consider as disrespectful or in anyway
intentionally inconsiderate. The only time that I had even considered
this might be a case of intentional inconsiderateness is when I was not
sure you really did simply not understand me. But even in this I was
basically only puzzled at your intentions, and more or less simply
passed it off as a mechanical ego driven aspect of your personality, of
trying to do something for my own good, ‘passively’ of course. There is
no stinger intended here please.
>I now have a much fuller understanding, and appreciation… from a
personal point of view, how well you do understand *me* as a human
Being.
Coach I would of had to have been pretty dense not to have picked up on
a number of your natural tendencies from your essence, as well as your
knee-jerk ego driven reactions from your personality by now. “For the
record you are the most transparent person I know.” And I’ll add here a
quality I prize as a more and more possible to me, “High Achievement”,
that I whole heartily aspire to be, and one of the main reasons I set
under your tutelage here Coach. Ops sorry I know you don’t like the
connotation of “Teacher” ascribed to you, but you are one of many of my
teachers, as I am certain I am one of yours. And this is as you
have ‘seemed’ to rightly perceive, the same reason I am able to be at
times rubbed the wrong way when I am not being understood, that I
perceive the misunderstanding as my not being transparent enough. So
now finally I see this is were any uncoumfortableness was coming from
in my communications over the last few weeks with you or student John.
I guess I tend to take it personal if I’m not being completely
understood. Not to mention being prized, agreed with, and held in ver
high esteem, smiles. Though I must give myself ‘real’ credit here, that
I have become pretty good at taking ‘full’ responsibility for my own
self-worth. And Coach you and Gill have been a very strong influence in
this aspect of my essential growth. And now it seems I need to be
working even harder at being more easily understood than ever. And to
be more understanding that this has been the jest of your intentions
here in all you have been saying to me.
Thank you Coach and S. John for your input and understanding.
Eddie
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