Right on, Teacher John!
Posted by Student Coach John on October 30, 2002 at 12:40:39:

In Reply to: Re: When reconciliation lies at hand. posted by Student John on October 27, 2002 at 12:22:49:

Way cool, S/T John—as well as Eddie and Rob! In the folkways of our little on-line campus—that is to say, in my view of it—Classroom Talk is being a
master class these days. For those who have chosen, or have been able to hang around for it, this appears to me to be a master class, now.

John, Teacher John, never have I heard your ideas here expressed more clearly and beautifully. What a wonderful job you have done here in
"teaching us who you really are." The parameters of my appreciations of who you authentically are, in the experiences of your life, have broadened,
enormously. And suddenly, all the reflections that I have been having in getting to know you along the way, interesting studies of "who Student John
really is" have suddenly been turned into a giant, "Of course!!! This is who you are! Of course!"

From just these few lines of biographical information you share, it all seems to come clear and understandible now. Not in "the credentials," of course,
but in the bodies of experiences, I understand that this is who I was knowng you in being. — And, interestingly—in terms of what is the person
doing here in this life . . . how *similar* your ten years' counseling was to the story of ten years of my own life.

>I came to recognize how much I miss the feminine when I'm alone with my thoughts and feelings. I too have been missing Pauline, Deidre and Sally. There is much that seems to me "feminine" in your coaching of putting aside differences (misunderstandings) and staying connected. Is that what Sally and Deidre have to teach us with what they have been and are doing?

May be. I don't know. They and other women that used to be posting here may just have their hands full. I'm no expert on the differences between
men and women, per se, although I think there are some. Men and women are treated the same in the wheelbook, and we see as many Dictators
among women as men, and as many Doormats. So the difference of the sexes is not just based on one sex being more Assertive/Aggressive, or being
more Yielding/Passive than the other. From all of the people I've studied face to face, the differences do not seem to lie there.

I've wondered, too, from the slight information I have (i.e. our counter at the top of the bulletin board page, and the postings that appear) . . . . . from
the little I know, I've wondered about the seeming drop-off in participation, particularly among the women who have long-time been around.

Perhaps the rest of the class, in recognizing the slower and mellower pace of the class this year, is simply tuning in less often and adjusting to that real
pace in a practical way. If so, that's good.

Perhaps the rest of the class is willing to be quiet and allow it to go on for weeks at a time while I am primarily working with one of you students—as
I've been doing recently with you, Eddie. I think that would be good, too, because I always maintain that I feel there is as much learning for all of you
in whatever I'm coaching as there is for the person "on the hotseat," as we called it once, the person I am maintaining a long engagement/
companionship with, in attempting to illuminate the anatomy of human beingness. I don't know if everybody finds that to be their experience, when I
work for a prolonged period with one of you.

There has been some impatience with me about this in the past. Maybe there's a better way than the way I'm coaching this class. I tend to go for the
dynanics that happen here in class that I sense I can coach the most beneficially from in a general way—that is, to everyone in class. Another way to
put it is that I tend to jam off of the things that inspire coaching in me the most. The things that are shared in class bring up opportunities that I
recognize for sharing the last few areas of this training as a whole that I know that I haven't covered here, so far. Even though it is a kind of "piece-
meal" approach, if you understand what I mean, this method has seemed to me to work, remarkably! I field this on the right. I field this on the left. I
field whatever does pop up. Little by little, this whole course is being taught.

And from my point of view, prolonged work with each one of you, when your turns for that come up, do seem to me to be getting us somewhere.
We see insights. We see changes. I see a lot of change in you, Eddie, from this prolonged stint of work we've been doing. I expect others to be
excitedly seeing this, too, and applying what they are learning in this to their own lives.

Perhaps in some fashion, this method I employ has made the women in the class feel excluded in some way? I don't know. I wish they'd tell us if they
feel that way.

As I said, maybe women have more burdens than men—taking as much care of men as they do. And perhaps the women in our class may have felt,
simultaneously, that it's *right* for this to be a men's group now for awhile—good spiritedly. Maybe we need this more than they do. It's my
impression that's true, about "men-at-large." Maybe we men need to catch on to a few more things that we haven't understood so far. Maybe they'd
like to be quiet and just watch for awhile, and just see what we men can do on our own without them. Heh-heh. I think there are many women who
are cynical about the masculine potential for that. I have to agree.

And maybe all these students we mention, women and men (did I leave out Jeff and Klaus the other day?)—maybe they have had enough already.
Maybe they've learned all they need to know of this by now, and can strike out in the world alone with it (along with the rest of the knowledge they
know of) and put it into play on their own. That happens. In fact, that's what it's all about! When students take the knowledge and go out on their
own, that's what all schools of this kind rejoice in.

After all, some people have spent as much time over the years in Classroom Talk as they would have spent going to college for four years. It isn't the
teacher who knows when you graduate. It's the student who knows this. Given the tough things that can come up in all of our lives, it strikes me as a
miracle that there has been as much continuity of people in our class over the years as there has been!

Women, in general, may be quicker students than men. I've noticed a lot of indications of that in my life. Maybe it's *natural* that the women would
have finished this class ahead of us guys?

Of course, all of these ideas are "projections." We do not know the answer. In such cases, the real answers are nearly always surprises. And yet it is
always so easy to make up many, many plausible theories in the intellectual thinking mind, just like I've been doing here. And usually, such projections
are wrong. Even so, throughout our lives we can become upset about our projections, as if each of them are "truth," even though we really don't
know.

And, I'd like to know. Speak up, you women, any time! Has the direction the class has taken this year stopped serving any of you in some particular
ways? Have you felt "let down" in any ways by me or this model of coaching? I'd like to hear of it, if so, so I can grow, and do a better job next time.

By the way, John, I'm interested that you seem to hold the idea of "putting aside differences (misunderstandings) and staying connected" as an
expression of "the feminine" in my coaching.

You may have something there. Everybody seems to agree that we are all mixtures of masculine and feminine traits. I don't have such a clear sense of
what that means.

Look, President Putin's best move in the awareness game, after the Chechnian terrorists took over that theater in Moscow, would have been to give
Chechnia to the Chechnians. Why? Because they had opposed Chechian independence by mistake years ago. They once thought if Chechnia became
free, several other close states there—that they do care about—would have become independent. That's no longer thought likely. The Russians don't
really care about Chechnia, itself, and by helping Russians who are living there to migrate to Russia, they would be better off without it.

But . . . . . we could never expect that President Putin, who gained his reputation years ago by his heavy-handedness with the Chechnians, would
respond to terrorist demands by *yielding*. Of course, he has to sting back. And over the years there have been so many really outrageous atrocities
committed by both the Russians and the Chechnians back-and-forth, back-and-forth on each other, that the two peoples are hopelessly entangled in a
so-called insoluble dilemma, just like the engagement of the Palestinians and the Israelis. Yet there is a solution.

I would coach, "Mr. Putin, correct the mistakes of the past, and give Chechnia to the Chechnians." The chances for internal peace would be much
improved then, and even chances for external harmony and maintaining connectedness would emerge. The Russian economy would surge forward if
their President could make such a clever yielding move.

I gather you would say, John, that strategy is coming from my feminine side, and the feminine side of the awareness game training. Could be. It just
looks like: be awake, with beginner's mind, look around and see if you can spot what's the real truth of it, and do what's practical. Perhaps there is
some feminine quality in it there that I'm not quite spotting, but I *do* seem to *sense* what you mean. I can understand how someone might feel that
was coming from my feminine side.

>My own experience is that Jesus and other masters use both Personality and Essence as I understand you to mean them to teach, and their teaching from Personality is no less striking or relevant than that from Essence.

This blows my mind, and I couldn't agree with you more on your experience of this. This resonates for me. In fact, in reflecting on my own
experiences of life here in class, I realize that I used to do that very thing a lot with Douglas, and the "Heffalump Traps" we discussed from time to
time. I think he learned some things from the use of that approach. And I have done that somewhat, at different times, with most of you students
here. That is, I have consciously employed Personality, knowingly, in attempts to teach. I can see it in that light now. I hadn't looked at this that
squarely before.

>Perhaps Spirit or, Enlightenment uses Personality on those occasions when to reach the student through Essence would have been difficult if not impossible.

Yes, I think you're exactly right. Coming from my experiences, this seems very plausible to me.

And your take, coming from Douglas's question:

>He asked, "What is the purpose, here? It is toward this that my self-observation moves: not to improve Self but to uncover the purpose of Self when it's *asleep* by waking up to it when I can.

Yes! That's an approach that will do the trick, alright!

>Looking forward to your next posting.

Thank you, Teacher John . . . being real, teaching us who you are, being authentic, being relaxed, being candid yet non-wounding, enthusiastic, being
awakening and experiential . . . being my teacher here-and-now today. Thank-you, indeed.

Student Coach John

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