What is a warrior to do about this now? (It will come to you.)
Posted by John on November 05, 2002 at 19:30:41:

Before getting into studying "What is there for me to do now?" let me say to you, Student John that I didn't take what you said in any way as a
reproach. . . . . I could just say to you: Thanks for that. I get it.

Perhaps that is really enough praise and communication of appreciation for our conversations around here from now on. "I get it," says it all.
Although I'm itchin' to heap some more praise on Eddie, as I sit down here today.

But before I do:

>excessive use of criticism and praise by parents and authorities to "control" a child can leave a lasting thirst in that child's later adult life for confirmation from external sources and while "asleep" trying to get that confirmation from you and others in class.

Yes, this happens in us all, even me. And it's good to remember this happens. Not only so with punishment, children also get manipulative praise.
Perhaps this is mostly praise for the prizes they win, their grades in school, the things they do that parents want them to do, or choices for such things
as make so many ordinary parents seem to want to live out their own lives through controlling their children's lives.

But are children praised enough for the essential strengths and qualities of their humanness that sometimes shows up in their human acts in the world
in relating with other people? I don't know. I certainly am vulnerable to praising people for things that please and satisfy me. That's a warning flag
right there! Yet, those apparently essential acts that I do see happening here in class, dang it all, just seem to call out to me for a praising comment,
purely as "a methodical and thorough coach" in calling attention to manifestations of *both* the Personality and the Essence sides of our diagnostic
wheel, as well.

Generally speaking, I confront the things you will find cataloged in the wheelbook under Personality, and I praise the things you will find cataloged
under Essence. That teaching tool is there solely so that you can see all these things on your own. To the extent that I would encourage dependency
on me—as you suggest might happen here, John—I would be undermining the core purpose of the awareness game itself.

For, the *bottom-line* in this training program, for me, is that you students learn to be free of dependency on other people's criticisms and praise, and
that you become more and more aware, throughout the rest of your lives, that you can depend on your own direct experiences of "What it is that you
can do about whatever is happening now," and what genuine strengths, qualities, and talents you actually *have in you* to do that.

Praise, like every other aspect of this training, deserves cautious reflection. What are the real effects of it in life? What are the dangers of careless
misuse? Each time we wake up and look, we may see more of the truth of this.

In general, from this point on, I'm going to endeavor, as an experiment, to be "more cool" about praise around here. And yet I'll attempt to see, at the
same time, if I can fulfill my own senses of the appropriateness of praise in doing this work.

"I see." "I get it." "I understand." Do we need more praises than these around here, to go on completing our work in this course? Perhaps we don't
need any more praises than these any more. Perhaps the respect we feel for each other in knowing and understanding each other better now is
adequate without much praise, or with praise only sparingly expressed.

And—heh-heh—allow me to indulge in full-on praise one more time here today with you, Eddie.

>>That's a lot of human pain that's been prevented by that capture happening!

>xxxxxxx!

Marvelous! First of all, that exclamation point at the end is the artistic touch that enables me to understand you clearly here. So, not only are you
being clear, you are being *so very concise* that you don't even need words for what you say any more.

>This is not very Fair Coach, but it's honestly ok buddy, I heartily do sincerely understand.

Yeah, you're right. It isn't very fair. Yet you have learned more about the possible breadth and variety of artistic expression in writing the way that's
just come to you to write this post here.

It isn't fair because I brought it up. I started talking about the snipers—as "far away" as that news topic seemed to me at the time. Now—in the news
today—they've connected a rifle killing on a golf course here in Tucson in March to the same two apparent sniper suspects. — What a small world!
We're all in this mess together, I guess.

Not so long ago, I was wondering about the *arbitrariness of these sniper victim deaths*, and then—I guess some of you saw the Catalina Mountains
and Tucson on your television screens last week—a poor devil flipped out and killed three women teachers at the Nursing College at the University of
Arizona here. In that case, it wasn't arbitrary. He thought he was being persecuted by them as a male student surrounded by women in that school.

Police said they thought this Gulf War veteran, who was in constant pain from having been gassed in Iraq, had a change of heart at the last minute,
when he told all the shocked women students in the class to leave the classroom, and then he killed himself. For they found several guns on him, and
200 more rounds of ammunition. Now I'm left wondering about the *arbitrary lives* that those students who were spared go on living by chance
today. These remarkable accidents in life cut both ways.

Wonderings on these kinds of things *are* interesting. Perhaps they are the kinds of wonderings that bring us closer to understanding the Absolute.

You know, when I announced that I was attempting to have our course completed by the end of this December (and then extended my estimate on
that to our fifth birthday in April), I wasn't planning to disappear. I wasn't thinking I'd go away and leave Classroom Talk behind. I was only
thinking I'd like to attempt to complete the whole course of the awareness game that I'm teaching, as I've mapped that whole course out. (Yet, here
and there, throughout this website, I've more or less covered all that already. Yet I wished to "tidy things up," so to speak, with some final tips here in
class.)

After that, I figured that "what to do" would just come to me. I supposed that if there were still a group of us around for conversations then—for
those who had learned the wheelbook and had picked up on the gist of playing the awareness game—there could be a wonderful forum here for
interesting and entertaining discussions reflecting on the news events of this common world that we share together, or whatever any of us are
observing and wondering about in life.

For instance, I could have been teaching the wheelbook, this whole time along, off of the obvious and blatant behavior of people we are all seeing in
the news every day. The music of their personalities is always out there in high relief to be seen and heard. However, it seemed to me to be a better
way to teach off of "the news" of our own weekly postings, for our purposes in class. Perhaps it might have been faster to teach the wheelbook types
off of famous people that we all know. But would that approach have helped you all as well to see these things in your own daily patterns? Yet
perhaps a forum like that would be fun to collaborate on if we all had that training background.

We could have wonderful conversations about so many things about life together. If we had all been meeting in person over these years, we might
well have taken more time for these general topics. We would all be more expert by now in telling world leaders about new strategies for determining
"what to do about it?" with all these complex engagements that keep coming up around the world. But my principle aims have been directed towards
becoming able to determine "What is there for me to do about it?" within the narrower parameters of our own individual daily lives.

>>Did God answer those prayers through an ordinary good fellow

>xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

I can wonder that, but I don't think I'm ready to lead a search for God, yet. Perhaps a search for "some visible workings of God that can be spotted"
may be possible, though, with awareness game technology.

Many of you may have realized that my working pace has been much slower this year—as compared to my pace in the early years of this project. At
the same time, some of you may have realized that I was working at an accelerated pace, in a sense, in attempting to speed up getting the last topical
areas of the awareness game training covered this year. Last spring, with increasing health concerns, I felt a need to accelerate the presentation of
topics I've been coaching, and I estimated then that I could hold on with this coaching job until the end of December. Along the way, I later have felt
that I could "count on" holding on until next Spring. So my view of it isn't that bad.

Who knows? I may live a long time more, yet I've been attempting to be honest in my planning about my diminishing strength. Let me leave it at that,
for now. I have NO fatal diagnoses for now—I promise you that—just getting older faster.

I'm not ready for teaching "The Search for God," so far. I'm not competent at this time to attempt to teach that. I'm still attempting to finish teaching
what I feel I can teach: "What has a warrior to do, when this such-and-such funny stuff is going on in his or her real life?"

I suppose the traditions are true that are saying the closer one gets to finding the Absolute, the greater the challenges become. I take some heart in
that idea in view of the heavy challenges that sometimes do come up in our lives, and in my life.

The awareness game says to flow with it. Take what you get of the challenges that come. Process emotional feelings, and flow with it. "Let it be!" Be
mindful in gestures and speech. What to do . . . will come to you.

There may be times in any of our lives when the challenges begin to pile up on us. Carlos Castaneda's mentor, don Juan, called this "the Tonal of the
times," the Tonal being a composite of the inter-activities of social Personality in time. You could call it "Fate." Sometimes we are being hit from more
than one side by Fate.

A time of this kind of challenge may be approaching again in my life. I don't care to get into details, but some management changes that are being put
into effect by certain executives and advisors of the company I work for in my other job, may spell the end of my long years of loving service out
there. Of course, I've been dependent on that job, too, for earning my living.

Now, I'm being asked to work full-time in November and December—the first week of it starting this Thursday through next Monday. That's easy . .
. flow with it. Heh-heh. But I honestly don't know if I'm physically up to walking through that. Always a part-timer up to now, I'm still being
physically able enough for that, barely. Yet, this will be a real challenge. I'm needed to be "part of the team" in a new project that's going forth. Or, at
least, *somebody* is needed to be part of that team in this time of extra work, part of a team that is small enough that my part in it would be pivotal.

This is so ironic, coming as it does in this "home-stretch" of my completing my whole "formal coaching training" here in Classroom Talk. Even if I can
manage to flow with these changes in my other job, how in the world can I complete my work here? And even if I have to leave the other job, how
can I then sustain my work with you Folks, here?

Let me reassure you students at once, that—come what may—I do NOT intend to cut-off my communication with any of you who wish to keep in
contact with me in the future. I mean that.

So . . . . . I took this seeming dilemma to the I Ching. Some students here have been familiar with this ancient teaching, which actually pre-dates
written Chinese. Not only is the I Ching a kind of awareness game training of its own, but it is also a kind of personality diagnostic tool, as well.

One approaches the I Ching with a question, and then throws three coins to key-in on the teaching responses. Those who become fans of this great
teaching tool always seem to express wonder at its remarkable relevancy. My question was:

"What is there for me to do here now?"

I threw 20. Contemplation changing in the third line to 53. Development (Gradual Progress).

To me, "contemplation" means mindful study of one's thinking and Being process. The gist of the whole teaching seemed to be expressed in "the
changing line" which leads from the "first hexagram," Contemplation, to the other hexagram, Development (Gradual Progress). I'd like to quote that
paragraph here—twice in fact—from two highly regarded and truly classical modern interpretations of this ancient teaching tool, first by Richard
Wilhelm, and then by Sam Reifler.

"Six in the third place means: Contemplation of my life decides the choice between advance and retreat."

Sound familiar?

"This is the place of transition. We no longer look outward to receive pictures that are more or less limited and confused, but direct our contemplation
upon ourselves in order to find a guideline for our decisions. This self-contemplation means the overcoming of naive egotism in the person who sees
everything solely from his own standpoint. He begins to reflect and in this way acquires objectivity. However, self-knowledge does not mean
preoccupation with one's own thoughts; rather, it means concern about the effects one creates. It is only the effects our lives produce that give us the
right to judge whether what we have done means progress or regression.

Reifler translated this same third changing line as follows:

"3. He examines his own life and chooses advance or retreat accordingly. Step outside yourself and look at your life. Examine your past existence
objectively, as an innocent stranger would; examine your ideals and aspirations as an objective expert consultant would. Then you will come to the
right decision."

In other words . . . . . if you do this contemplation, it will come to you.

Now, with charming serendipity, I had already come up with my own answer for my own question, "What is there for me to do here now?" I had
scrawled it out in long-hand before throwing the I Ching coins—based upon the awareness game model of things.

"When you don't know what to do, in a difficult situation that is really getting you down: do a few mindful gestures, if you can, or a few mindful
pauses; make a few mindful communications if you can, or a few mindful silences. . . . . . . And being mindful of this . . . . . it will come to you. Give it
a few hours. Give it a few days, a few weeks. It will come to you. What to do will . . . just come to you."

So I am doing that—a few mindful pauses, so far, on the other side of it, a few mindful silences. A few mindful gestures on this side of it, a few
mindful communications. Flowing along with it all.

I'm so glad I got this little coaching in here now. It's an important one to me, to have shared this one with students here, to not have it be left out and
over-looked. Try it out, if you'd like to. It's "a magic formula." When you're facing a tough situation, walk-on through actually doing some mindful
gestures, actually talk-on through some mindful communications, or just pause and be silent mindfully, and see what comes to you. And as for me, I
will see whatever comes to me.

Courage, Everyone. And, love, by all means, love.

Coach

I intend to post again tomorrow. I'll keep looking in here to class as often as I can during the week, and maybe posting, if only briefly. I'll have next
Tuesday and Wednesday "off," and I'll be here to visit with you then. I'll flow with it, if I can. I'll do what I can with it, whatever comes to me. This
much has come to me so far.

>It's times like this I wish I could come too Tucson and stay with you for a few years, heh, heh.

Yeah that would bring some delightful conversations, I bet. And we may have those anyway here, eventually, in that "graduate forum" I was
fantasying about, if we are patient enough. But, so long as this "Sixth Grade" is still going on, watch out for the point that Student John is making
today. I mean that . . . for your own sake. Don't "let your Self become attached to the coach," lest that would undermine what I'm actually attempting
to teach. A few days' visit would be cool—if we can work that out someday. I'd like to get to know you. A few years' visit? . . . my dear good Man,
just as my own teacher Mits once said to me: "You'll go on much farther than me."

Maybe the actual unexpressed experiences you know that underlie those very lines of x's that you just posted, can provide you with just the right
clues that will be the start of your first scientific paper, or your first book. A day can come—when you choose it—that you are writing not only to me
and to classmates here, but to everybody. Whatever you do with it then is up to you.

And, after all—as you will see—everything you are looking to know and write about is already within you, Eddie, or else the capacity and means for
experientially finding it all out.

I know I keep saying this, but this last post of yours is my favorite, once again—for clarity, and for being concise, and experiential, and just plain good
writing.

Now, I'll start practicing being more cool about praise for awhile, if I can, and see how that goes.

And, heh-heh, xxxxxxxxxxxx's and oooooooooo's to one and All!

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Archived 02/04/2003