Classroom Talk
Fall 2002 Archive
Happy New Year Posted by Student John on January 01, 2003 at 12:29:47:
Hi all. Happy New Year.
Rakesh, it’s nice to hear your voice again. I was watching an
interview with Joseph Campbell several weeks ago and thought of you.
He is now deceased but was a student and teacher of worldwide myth
both folk and religious and identified how, among other things, they
pointed to the unspeakable, the Divine. In this interview he quoted
from the Bible and the Upanishads and enlightened me about the
traditional greeting posture used in Indian culture, the folded hands
pressed together at chest height with a slight bow to the one being
greeted. Campbell’s explanation was that it was an acknowledgment of
the Divine in all one meets and greets. It wouldn’t be appropriate
for me to use such a gesture in my culture but just the thought of the
gesture as I meet and greet people gives me a new frame of reference.
Congratulations on your long time away from smoking. It took me many
tries to finally quit the habit. I’m currently eliminating alcohol
which I’ve done “successfully” many times previously but this time it
feels different because like you it no longer is an effort of
willpower but one of awareness. Yes, thanks to Coach. Another teacher
of awareness suggests that in addition to feeling the urge “grip”
you, that you can also look for the pleasure that the cigarette or
drink might bring and know that giving yourself that pleasure is
possible from awareness without the physical habit. In my case I
imagine the slight pleasant “buzz” I get from a drink and satisfaction
seems to follow. I also go to those unpleasant reactions that
I “know” my body will have if I drink. I tried ACIM faithfully for a
year several years ago without much noticeable impact, but I suspect
that I wasn’t yet enough self-aware for it to be meaningful. I’m on a
similar course of spiritual seeking with self-awareness at its core
and the feeling is like the lessons are within me not on the written
page. I wish you much success in your search.
Sally, Coach’s response to you resonated with me. I have been a Can-
do person all my life. The difficulty for me has been that I hadn’t
separated what are my tasks in Life versus what are the tasks of
others. In many cases this has been because I often got attention and
approval when without being asked I solved the problem of another. I
first recognized the negative aspects of this trait when my wife and I
taught a parenting course and had to confront ourselves as “Good
Parents.” What the course meant by this was parents who stepped in to
solve their children’s problems and in so doing “dis-abled” their
children from learning the lessons of life by not letting them take
responsibility for the consequences of their action or inaction. For
a Can-do person leaving a problem or task unaddressed is terribly
difficult. I stepped back from my children’s problems as they’ve
grown but when my wife was stricken with a chronic illness seven years
ago the ole “I can fix that” came roaring into view. It was several
years before I recognized that my “helpfulness” was further “dis-
abling” my wife. I began to back off which registered with her as an
uncaring attitude but the results are that she resumed taking
responsibility for her life (she is a very capable and loving woman
who is learning to deal with pain and diminished physical capacity)
and though saddened by the pain she suffers and the impact this
illness has on our relationship, my resentment has lessened. Once a
child or any one becomes used to a nearby Can-do person regularly
picking up their problems, even though it may “dis-able” them, they
will resist and may resent any change by the Can-do person. It’s a
difficult task to be a caregiver. I was a member of an organization
for several years, Well Spouse, which you can find on the internet,
and corresponded with other care givers which I found helpful. I hope
you can find peace in this task life has given you.
Hey Coach, hope all is well with you. A flake, in addition to being a
five sided crystalline structure formed by the freezing and refreezing
of water vapor, is a person or or self not living up to the ideal set
for them but at the time of their acting as a flake is doing exactly
what to them seems right, proper or justified. In other words, a
flake is asleep. Sometimes lovable, sometimes frustrating. We all
live with them and are them.
Sincerely, Student John
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Archived 02/04/2003