Re: About my coaching perspective now.
Posted by rob on 05/28/2003 09:43:07

In reply to About my coaching perspective now. posted by John on 05/16/2003 17:00:36

Hey there:

I think it was Nicholl who said that it is not the external events but
our reaction to the external events that is the "story" of our lives.
And I think Coach's story about falling down the stairs is a great
example of that. Coach was peaceful, angry, sad -- these are all
reactions. Not getting stuck in reaction was being mindful. Feeling the
feelings was being mindful. Holding on to the difficulty of it is being
stuck, but of course, there is the reality of the bruises and the pain.

I'm finding that I can choose to be cheerful. Coach told me a few years
ago when I thought my marriage was breaking up that I could choose to
leave work problems at work and BE different at home. And I could, and
did, and it made a difference to everyone around me. In the past few
years, I've been able to "come to" before I walk in the door of my
house and try to choose how I want to me with my kids, rather than
displacing work emotions onto them. I think one can choose is one is
mindful and that is what this coaching has brought home to me over and
over. You have to "be here behind these eyes" to be able to choose. And
when I've been able to choose, choosing peace always seems easier.

So Coach, I feel for you. I was walking down the street and wasn't
paying attention and got hit by a car a few weeks ago. I'm OK, but it
did "wake me up!" I had many dramas about it. Loving a good story as I
do. But all of these were a waste of energy and an identity that I
didn't really need or want. I was being sensational, like the 6 o'clock
news! But really, nothing happened except my response to what happened.

OK, back to work for me. Love you all and I'll be checking in more once
the semester is over in about a week. Wish we'd get some of that warm
weather here -- 10 days of clouds and rain. Looking forward to the
beach some day soon.

Love,

Rob

Archived 09/22/2003