Classroom Talk
Fifth and Sixth Grades Archive
Further thoughts on unattached....
Posted by Student John on 07/23/2003 10:40:44
Hi all,
I’d like to flesh out, if you will bear with me, some further thoughts
on unattached. In the Mindfulness Game we are asked to become aware
of a “score” on our board and to look for the bodily stress generated,
place awareness there and wait for the stress to pass. This
technique is a time honored one toward becoming unattached. Once the
score is off our board we are then encouraged to play for harmony and
peace by engaging in Authentic Communication (which may be saying
nothing at all!). Coach has some excellent examples of authentic
communication in the Wheel Book and has offered each of us during our
time in class examples of how we might draw upon that resource in
situations we confront in our daily lives, Rob most recently. I
became attached to this notion that I could improve Self. I looked
for “feedback” that Self was getting "better." I devised experiments
like “choosing cheerfulness” to be a better Self.
Many spiritual teachers say that to be attached to either the “bad” or
the “good” is to miss the point. One of the ways they suggest
starting is as is done in the Mindfulness Game to become aware, aware
and aware. Many of them don’t offer the excellent road map of Self
that Coach has developed. The second step suggested is that we dis-
identify from the thought. Separate the thought from the thinker and
doer. There are many techniques offered some not unlike Coach’s of
becoming aware of bodily sensations associated with thoughts and
feelings. Others include observing thoughts in the third person,
like “Student John’s feeling angry” or “There’s depression”
or “Student John’s enthused while he’s writing.” Whatever the
technique, the object is to begin the process of becoming unattached
to one’s thoughts and feelings.
I previously shared an experiment my Can-do (an aspect of my Essence)
was running to choose cheerfulness by using a gratitude list. I was
asking this aspect of my Essence to take charge. Can-do succeeded for
the most part but interestingly what came along with that success was
an attachment to cheerfulness. I felt pride in my “success”.
Additionally it was an effort. I tired of the experiment and gave Can-
do a rest.
One further technique suggested by the masters is to observe without
condemnation or justification. Some would say to observe
equanimously. Interestingly, I thought I was observing without
condemnation until I noticed a hint of disdain from my Judge as I
watched. I then became aware that Judge wanted to condemn that
disdain as well so Self could become better. Here was Judge
condemning self-condemnation. How unproductive could that be?? It
fell away. I still observe that from time to time Judge wants to
condemn Judge for thinking “Judge like” thoughts, if that makes any
sense. I now can say, “There’s Judge.” I don’t seek to change that
aspect of my Personality. Just accept (love) it!! Wake up to it as I
can when it arises.
Here’s a place faith enters for me. I do not NEED to improve Self,
others or my environment. I do not need to play for peace and
harmony. If I am at peace internally with (unattached to) all
the “Personality and Essence” going on inside Self, that peace will
radiate outwardly and may make a difference in the world but that is
not the purpose for my peace, only a possible side benefit. Authentic
communication may be an expression of that peace.
A second place where faith enters is I am not in NEED of anything from
others for my peace. I don’t need pleasure, attention, approval, or
influence. They’re certainly enjoyable and even preferable to their
opposite but their presence or absence doesn’t hold the key to my
value in this life. Does criticism still sting? Sure. Does
Coach’s attention and approval feel good? Absolutely. I is not defined
by either. I do the dance that I do.
There may be other aspects to faith but so far these are two I am
experiencing. I am a work in process.
Love, Student John
Archived 09/22/2003