Authentic Non-Manipulative Communications
Sincere Expressions of Your Own Experience*

Say:

"No."
"Yes."
"I feel..." (telling real feelings by name, not stories about feelings)
"I don't like..."
"I like..."
"I was hurt that..."
"I appreciate..."
"I am not your person." (rejects without putting anything on the other person)
"I'd like to get to know you."
"I need my space."
"I like being with you."
"I'd like the pleasure of inviting you to..."
"I'm your person." "Okay."
"I'd like it if you would..."
"I notice..." "I'm interested." " I'm interested in..." "I can"
"I'm not interested in you that way, perhaps"
"I'm not ready for that."
"I would prefer ________ to _______."
"I'd be comfortable with _______, and I'm not comfortable with _______."
"I'd like to..." (useful example: "I'd like to work here.")
"I wish for..." "I'd like it if..." "I wonder..." "I'd like to know..."
"You come across as..." "You seem..." (softer than "you are...")
"I would like to try to do (this) with you."
"I will try to work with you to..."
"I like you as you are."
"I feel that you like me."
"I wish to be liked for who I am."
"I feel loved."
"I love you."
"I don't love you."

To dodge other people's manipulations (silence, or):

Non-committal and non-judgmental response, given with no further comment:
"I see." "I hear you." "I understand." "Oh."

*In any of these ways, midst any manipulations that are going on,
you address the essential core of the other person from your own personal core.

Back to the Wheelbook | Index