The Player/Judge

10 pages of commentary
typical Judge quotes

Essence: The Player

There's a certain type of person that usually "brightens up the room" when he or she walks in. They have a "sunny disposition." They are mellow and humorous--"fun people"--funny, and entertaining. They smile a lot, and have a broad grin. Usually they have a famous laugh. Things brighten up around them. Sometimes they are "the life of the party." They are fun to be with.

These are the Players. Players are *playful* in the ways they relate with other people. In mindfulness, one can pick up on this quality. They like to play games for the fun of it. They make people laugh. They tilt with others in playful banter, and make a "sport" of conversation.

Players have wisdom and humor. They are able to laugh at the human comedy. They are organized, and good arrangers. They are balanced, and good at measuring things and straightening them. They are sensible. They like to adjust, and trim, and play with things to get them in balance.

And they are often athletic. They like to play games because they "like to be a player" in things that are going on. In fact they make a sport of everything in life, and an entertainment, as well, if they can. Life is "a party" for Players. They may even wear "funny clothes" and tell jokes (i.e. the classical "clown.").

It is in this area of our human make-up that Nature has built-in *wisdom* into homo sapiens. These are the people who, above all, like for things to be *done right*! This is one of the most characteristic ways of recognizing them. They are wise about what's right and wrong. They are logical, organized, and disciplined.

They have good coordination. They can size up and measure a field. They are "fielders." Even on the run, they are good at predicting the exact place where the ball comes down and they catch it. They have an eye for measuring it out, and coordinating with it. They have "good timing." They are good at arranging a team so they play together with coordination. They are good "managers" of shifting variables. They know the value of "team-work."

Players are *good sports*. They believe in fair play. They play by the rules. And they are the ones that make up the rules. For it isn't a true game, and hence, isn't *fun*, without rules. Players establish "out of bounds," and a time-clock, and they hand out fair penalties for bad infractions. When everybody follows the rules, and does it the right way, it is all just "good clean fun."

Players are suited to becoming both athletes and commentators and critics of the games. They like to *test results*, and they keep "records," statistics, and use charts. (Notice how many sports figures later become sports commentators on television, and even entertainers in various other ways.) Players make "adjustments" to improve the balance of their game. Getting good at a sport is a matter of making the right adjustments. The better the results, the more entertaining it is. They are good judges of sporting events--including the national news, which they also treat as *a sport*. And they comment on the news in a "fair and balanced way", reserving criticism, (unless they are Judges) to the Editorial Page. (The Player/Judge is the area where journalism comes into the human make-up--impartial in the essence, yet partial in the personality of the Judge.)

Most of the political critics that we know on television as "hosts," "pundits" and "talking heads" have the Player/Judge as a principal type in their make-up. A common gesture is "balancing with the hands," gesturing with both hands held out in front of the body, as if "reasoning" or "balancing." Whether in sports or in politics, they *play hard*. Players will make it fun and entertaining--unless it hurts! (But that painful part gets into the personality side of this type which is discussed below.)

The Player is also the area within the spectrum of our human make-up in which we find *humor*. What an amazing detail this is to have been included in the way we humans are! Humor and playful fun are ways of breaking the tension. There do appear to be many other animals that "have fun"--otters come immediately to mind. But just look at what homo sapiens has done with this fascinating quality! We are "party animals." What a cosmically great idea!!! Humor and fun can play such a big part in our days! How drab human life may be without some laughter.

Players have *wisdom*. And with wisdom goes *humor*. Nearly all of the world's comedians--as varied as they are--have the Player/Judge as one of their three principal types. They are able to laugh at the human comedy, and be playful about it. Players see what's wrong, and make adjustments. They measure things, and straighten them, and get them "right." Humor is always pointed towards this.

Humor is always about things that go wrong and obviously need to be corrected. Whenever we laugh at a joke it is an example of the human comedy that tickles us, our fallibility. Jokes make us "catch on" to just how absurdly wrong things get. From slipping on a banana peel, to a person falling off of a stage while making their speech, to a porch-swing that breaks, throwing Granny head over heels backwards into the bushes, to a "flying machine" invention that keeps bouncing up and crashing on the ground ridiculously, people laugh at the things in life that go wrong. We humans were built to be able to laugh at our own fallibility! All our jokes are about things that go wrong. The more ridiculous it is, the more we laugh. This is "the human comedy." And it is the Players who are quick-witted at picking up on the absurd, and making us laugh about it. They are the humorists among us.

Players are keen about straightening things out, and making them "measure up," and balance. They like for things to be *right*. Where the Can-Do Person goes out and boldly gathers the pieces of the thing, and the Teacher comes up with brilliant ideas of what to use it for, the Player measures it, weighs it, straightens it, makes sure all the angles are right, and sees that it is in *balance*. (They adjust "the play"). Players make good architects. They get all the stresses balanced out. They trim, rectify, and "play" with the thing, until it is right. Similarly, they add-up, balance, and account for everything. They are sensible, logical, and businesslike. They are practical. They are good managers, brokers, entrepreneurs (arranging the games and entertainments), accountants, bankers, and investors--they are frugal, and "wise." They are very *cautious*. They like to keep spending down. They give homilies: "Waste not, want not." They are conservative by nature. The Player is "a good judge." They have "common sense." They have "good sense," and know what's right and what's wrong. They are good at correcting mistakes. For a Player, a thing is "good" if it is done "right."

So this is a good person to turn to for frank criticisms. They are very candid and outspoken. They don't "pull their punches." Players will give you well-reasoned opinions that may hurt, but they'll probably provide some comic relief along the way, as well. Players also show up in society as editors, critics, editorial writers, and cartoonists. And nearly all team coaches will have this as a primary type. (Many of all these professionals listed above will be golfers in their recreation time. They are players!)

And they are "players" in any enterprise, whether on the playing field or in the company, in the Stock Market, or wherever they are. If they go into the real estate game, it is for the fun of "the game" as well as the wealth. And this is the type of the eight given here which usually does become the most wealthy. And they may be philanthropic, but only for "good causes," and never in their business enterprises, where they keep a tight fiscal budget.

They are the businessmen, and the businesswomen. They join clubs. Players enjoy a life of fun and play while working in an organized way. They arrange things sensibly. They work diligently at transforming disorder into order, so that things are done right. They enjoy seeing things conform to their wise judgments. They stand for "good." And they like to prove that they are "right."

Personality: The Judge

So, how does all this sunny brightness, these smiles and laughs, the good clean fun of the Player go wrong? How does all this wisdom and good humor turn out to bring the problems of personality into a person's life? Judges have so much natural wisdom that they begin to believe that they can't be wrong about *anything*! Being so wise, a Judge may think that he or she is *always right*!!!

Judges may be punishers with words. Their usual balance and innate good sense can turn into biting sarcasm that humiliates others. "I know right from wrong. And I'm right, and you're wrong." The Judge is the area of our humanness from which self-righteous words that hurt other people are spoken. When Judges judge they may wound others greatly, even without knowing it. "You're wrong, and you have to be punished." "You're stupid." "You're an idiot!"

When Judges play too hard, fun can turn into fighting. Players play hard, but Judges play so hard that it hurts. This is true both on the field and in relationships with others. They may be rude and insulting. Whereas Players are good at giving constructive criticism that highlights worthwhile adjustments that can be made, Judges attempt to make fun of and even humiliate others into straightening out their act. "Hey, dummy!" "Why don't you get your act together?" "You're blowing it!" They think the people they demean should be grateful to them for their wisdom. "Can I be frank with you? I know you'll thank me for saying this. You're a mess! You stink!" Judges make fun of other people, and turn them into jokes. If all comedy could be summarized in a single line, it would be: "What's wrong with you is . . . Ha, ha, ha!"

As noted above, the Player/Judge is the area of journalism. Don't forget that what the press relies on is the bad news. The way they try to be "a player" in society is by influencing the readers and viewers. When readers and viewers aren't influenced the way the press wants them to be, journalists just can't understand it. If it is balanced reporting, they do perform an innate service of informing people in a democracy. Yet the main job of reporters is to search out what's wrong in society, because "bad news is what the people want." Judges are good at reporting that! What the press is after is to make people mad about things.

Under the guise of seeking the truth, the news tends to become a vehicle for starting and *maintaining* arguments between people. Reporters thrive on that. Whenever they report a person's position on any issue, they will search out someone to denounce them, too. They may have to seek out extremists as their sources (to make their stories "better"). When the judgmental bias of any medium of the press shows through and obscures the balance of their reporting of the facts, most types of viewers (except for Judges who share those biased views) are turned off. With the current trends in American journalism, the popularity of the field is very low.

The phenomenon of discrimination is more common among Judges. They may be mean, sarcastic, biased, opinionated, biggoted. They judge others for who they are. And some will punish other people for their shortcomings, mistakes and failures with glee. (Certain talk show hosts who humiliate their guests come to mind.) They may show a little sadistic smile. "I'm telling you that you're worthless for your own good!" "Spanking you is going to hurt me more than it hurts you." Even their harsh judgments alone can leave wounds that take a long time to heal. They can "rub it in," "pour salt in the wounds." They may have a "wicked" laugh. They may posture and ridicule when the other person is "a loser." (Those gloating "dances" in the end zones after touchdowns are an example of this.) It is the Judges who make the rules to arrange things. They say what's right and wrong and try to get the wrong corrected. "Why don't you . . .?" They *arrange* people. "Why don't you do this instead of that?" "Why don't you do it my way?" Judges get into many more arguments in general than the other types because they love the sport of arguing. Arguments are their way of straightening other people out . (The purpose of every argument to a Judge is to hurt the other person into doing what they want them to do.)

Judges love the sound of arguing. It brings a grin to their face. They will argue about *anything*, just for the sake of arguing. They can argue about the most serious or tragic of circumstances with a smile on their face. Nothing is sacred to Judges in this extreme mode. This is "the joker," who can make fun of anything. They make fun of other people without qualms (but some of them can't take the joke when it's on them.) They "'play' practical jokes," and people may get hurt. They can have "unmitigated gall." "Haw, haw. You got what you had coming!" "I showed *you*!"

Judges can sometimes be recognized by their well-known frown, or growl. A common gesture of Judges is crossing their arms over their chest, and sometimes even unconsciously making fists when they are angry enough. When they are stirred up, either they are angry at you, or laughing at you, witheringly. In either case, it is painful, on the spot. They can be sarcastic. "Wanna try for doing it right next time?"

The positive emotion that goes with the Player is laughter and humor. The reciprocal negative emotion of the Judge is anger. People get angry when things don't work right, or when things break, wear-out, or go wrong. And they get "mad" when other people are "bad." "That's wrong!" they say. "Damn it!" "Damn you!" "That's not right." Their teeth may clench up, or a growl forms on the face (these tensions of one's own anger can always be perceived with awareness from the inside). The biceps tighten, and the hands may seem to want to form into fists. (Notice that the reciprocal of this phyical stance of anger is stretching the clenched growl out of the face by opening the mouth very widely, shaking the biceps loose, and pounding the fists flat . . . . i.e. laughter and applause.)

Judges are cynical. "I doubt it." "You don't expect me to believe that, do you?" "Prove it!" They may be aggressively discouraging. "You're not good enough." They can't see good in others. "I doubt you can do that. You're better off not trying!" "What makes you think you'd be able to do that?" In the clutches of such cynicism, Judges are incapable of saying good things about other people. They are "stingy of praise." They can't say, "I like you," or "Good job!" or "That was terrific!" To them, such positive statements would seem to take away their right to start in with the criticisms again, in the next breath. Don't look to Judges to compliment you on anything that you do! It's not their style.

And by the way, remember that one out of eight people, men and women, have the Player/Judge as their chief personality feature. And about a third of us have this type as one of our principal types.

Judges count. They add things up. "Hey, you owe another thirty cents to cover your half!" "That's too expensive!" "I can get it cheaper." They can be stingy. People recognize some Judges as "tightwads." Misers are always Judges. Judges "hold people to accounts." They expect things according to the arrangement, no matter what. "Why?" "Why did you . . ." They want corrections. They want you to "make it right, or pay." Most prosecutors are Judges. Judges are behind the filing of most civil law suits. If it is a nuisance suit, filed only to hurt the other person, it is definitely a Judge that is filing it. They demand accountability. "Why did you do that?" "You didn't do it right!" "You didn't follow the rules!" "You will have to pay for it."

And Judges can be very unforgiving. "No excuses!" When caught in their cynicism they will hold their strong opinion against the other person without mitigation. They can get on a crusade for personal justice, and punishment. If so, they will argue against any defenses, whether or not they are reasonable. (Did you ever hear a t.v. pundit saying to his or her opponent on the show, "Yes, you have a good point there." It doesn't happen. Every point that a "talking head" makes, no matter how tenuous, is argued to the hilt forever, repeated over and over again, without the slightest modification or softening, whatsoever. These programs are not exactly an example to people of what human conversation is about, but rather blind, unreasoning argument with no admissions of agreement.)

Judges are unlikely to "laugh it off." (Yet, when they can become free of this syndrome, and pull back into just being essential Players, they *can* laugh it off! And this becomes the breakthrough in all the uptightness that has been holding them in its grip!) Unfortunately, Judges need to win the argument. It is as if this is the most important thing in life to them. A Judge always has to get in the last word. In these characteristics, others may regard some Judges as "bores." It's the same old arguments, over and over again. Even people who agree can get tired of hearing it.

It is the Judge in people that calls other people names. "Fool!" "Jerk!" "Asshole!" "Sinner." A Judge can demean others, put them down, say bad things about them, send them to Hell. "You're a sinner." "Damn you!" "To Hell with you!" Judges put people on the spot by questioning them about their morals. They take on the job, uninvited, of evaluating other people's answers for their personal conduct. "What's wrong with you is . . ." As soon as they make a determination of wrongness, they will start in punishing right away, by name-calling. Their "remedy" is causing pain and hurting feelings. And they won't quit on this job until they are "vindicated," that is, when they can say: "See! I'm right!" "Everybody agrees that I'm right." "'The American people' think I'm right."

Sometimes Judges do wind up "eating crow." But they forget about it quickly because they are not sorry. "I know that I was right." Sometimes they wonder why people they hurt don't agree with them. "Why don't they like me? I only punish for their own good." When they are self-righteously judging a third party, they expect the person they are telling about it--and indeed, all people--to join in with their judging. When they are absorbed in a punishing cause, they think other people aren't being judgmental enough. ("Why do the people in the polls give the President such a good job-approval rating?" The Judges among the pundits just can't understand it!) When they are angry, they think everybody else should be like them to be "normal." Martyrs say that people don't care enough. Judges say that people don't judge enough.

Judges are well-known for their moralizing. Among the eight types, they are the ones who are *strict*! "You're a bad boy." "You're a bad girl." "You're a bad person." They themselves might be hard-hearted, vindictive, stingy, even a "tightwad" with others. They might have no charity, "no milk of human kindness." They might hurt others with glee, and turn their backs on the suffering, the starving, and the children of the poor. Yet the *only*immorality for them is the immorality that they are judging in the other person. (To hardened Judges, sexual immorality is absolutely the worst offense of all. In the extreme, those who are sadistic, those who foment inquisitions are always Judges.) The Judge is "the moral person," strict, seeing what's "wrong" in others, making others pay for every mistake. Yet sometimes Judges may be hypocritical--not seeing what's wrong, or immoral, in their own position. It is for Judges that the warning was given, "Judge not, lest ye be judged."

Some days they may find that people aren't laughing any more. What they said may have hurt too much. When it becomes obvious that their joke has wounded others (as in biggoted remarks that stir up a furor), Judges always have the same answer: "I was only kidding. I didn't mean it 'that way.'" They *still* don't get it! They shun apologies as much as Con Artists--in the case of Judges, because it undermines their claim to always be right.

Eventually, others may not be able to tolerate their rigidity and their always being so uptight. Their judgments become recognized as too extreme, too punishing. They may be seen as unworthy in their own behavior. Judges can be zealots for correcting others, and yet unable to see how their own role looks. For they, themselves, may have sinned, if not in the same way as they accuse others of, in the harsh self-righteousness of their "holier than thou" judgments alone, and in their unrestrained need to have every infraction of the other person severely punished.

In the extreme, Judges may slander their opponents at the end of the game. They have to win the argument! They may leak scandal and claim "I can prove that you did it." They will stop at nothing to be vindicated. They can be playing much too hard here. The great risk of being Judges is that they may be perceived as hypocrites by others. Chronically angry, believing they couldn't be wrong about anything, cruelly cynical of fellow humanity, a Judge may become "*the inquisitor*." If this is seen, he or she may be booed, and find that ultimately, the whole game is lost and the joke is finally on them.

Typical Judge Quotes

I'm right and you're wrong.
Why?
I doubt it. Have you checked it out?
Prove it.
Show me.
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Anything for laughs.
Well, to put it bluntly . . .
It isn't logical.
It doesn't make sense.
It isn't practical.
I doubt you can do it.
I told you so.
The trouble with you is . . .
Show me your credentials.
You expect me to believe that?
Why don't you get your act together?
You're a loser.
I am always reasonable.
I'd rather be right than be loved.
It costs too much.
Don't expect me to pay for you.
Serves you right. I'm glad it hurts.
You're a fool.
I was only kidding.
The reason I'm doing this is . . .
Can't you get it right?
Explain why.
I condemn all wrongness.
That's immoral.
He's (she's) a bad person.
They deserve to be punished.
I'll tell you why, idiot!
Good clean fun is more American than dirty pleasures.
I get into a lot of arguments.
Watch out, asshole. You blew it again.
Me, pea brain? Sarcastic?
Damn you.
You're stupid.
I'm punishing you for your own good.

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